Joe Maddison’s War (2010)

               “Joe Maddison’s War” is a BBC movie that is about an average Joe on the home front in WWII Britain.  It starts during the Battle of Britain and tracks Maddison’s (Kevin Whately) through his soap opera life impacted a little by the war.

               Maddison is a veteran of WWI, but as his son tells him:  “This is my generation’s war.”  He works in a shipyard and brings his lunch in a paper box on a string.  He’s a sad sack.  His is wife leaves him.  Who wouldn’t?  After the first bombing raid, he and his friend Harry (Robson Green) join the Home Guard.  Harry is a cynical wisecracker.  When Joe meets a comely lass named Selina, he will eventually have to make a choice between her and his wife who returns with a daughter.  This decision will take a few years as the movie draws it out for no particular reason.  Meanwhile, Joe and Harry become anti-aircraft gunners with no training.  They don’t need it as they shoot down the first bomber they aim at!  Harry gets in some trouble with a snooty officer, but at least something finally happens.  Unfortunately, there isn’t a whole lot else that happens in this languid movie.

               I would best describe this movie as inconsequential.  It has a good cast and they do their best, but there is only a bone to gnaw on.  There is no meat to the story.  It is a series of boring vignettes.  I will give it credit for being unpredictable, but that’s because I would not have predicted that over a four year period in the war, basically nothing of cinematic interest would happen.  By the way, don’t watch it if you are a Catholic.  Maddison lost his religion in WWI.  He goes against his local priest’s admonition to save his marriage.  When his wife leaves, he takes down her crucifix.

GRADE  =  D

For Whom the Bell Tolls (1943)

 

 

            Ernest Hemingway’s novel came out in 1940 and it was movie-bound from the moment it became a bestseller.  It was the story of an American who joined the anti-fascists in the Spanish Civil War.  Paramount bought the rights and Dudley Nichols wrote the screenplay.  He took out any references to Francisco Franco and the Falangists.  I guess he didn’t want to offend fascists.  Sam Wood (“Command Decision”) directed.  Hemingway wanted Gary Cooper and Ingrid Bergman to play his two main characters.  The studio agreed to Cooper, but chose Vera Zorina for the role of Maria.  She had her hair cut short and she was dressed in drab clothing.  Like the character in the book.  When the executives saw some footage of her, they were appalled that her guerrilla warrior was not glamorous!  They brought in Bergman and beautified the character.  Bergman’s participation in the picture had a significant unintended consequence.  She had just made “Casablanca”.  Warner Brothers wanted to reshoot some scenes.  One of them involved replacing “As Time Goes By” with a different song.  She was not available, so the film stayed the way it was.  “For Whom the Bell Tolls” was the second highest grossing film in 1943.  It was critically acclaimed and was nominated for nine Academy Awards.  Katina Paxinou won for Best Supporting Actress.  The other nominations were for Best Picture (losing to “Casablanca”), Best Actor (Cooper lost to Paul Lukas for “Watch on the Rhine”), Best Actress (Bergman lost to Jennifer Jones for “The Song of Bernadette”), Best Supporting Actor (Akim Tamiroff), Cinematography (Color), Art Direction (Color), Editing, and Score. 

            The movie opens with a title card: “Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind and therefore send not to know ‘For whom the bell tolls, the bell tolls for thee.’”  (The quote actually comes from a book by John Donne.)  We are in Spain in 1937.  Robert Jordan (Cooper) is an American language teacher who has joined the Republicans fighting against Franco’s fascists.  He is an explosives expert and we see him sabotaging a train.  He gets away, but he has to shoot his wounded partner.  His next mission is to blow up a bridge.  He hooks up with a band of rebels led by Pablo.  Their lair is a cave in the mountains.  Pablo is against blowing up the bridge because he fears reprisals and the heat that his band will receive.  His wife Pilar (Paxinou) is one tough broad.  She overrules Pablo, calls him a coward and drunkard, and green lights the mission.  On the other end of the female spectrum is the lovely Maria.  She was rescued from the fascists.  She and Jordan fall in love.  There are going to be a lot of bumps in the road, but I don’t have to spoiler alert that there is going to be a blown up bridge.

            “For Whom the Bell Tolls” is a decent rendering of the famous novel.  It is faithful to the book, so students can write their book report from it instead of reading the book.  Or use AI. And it is in Technicolor, not black and white!  And did I mention it has explosions?  The movie hooks you early with the blowing up of a train and this is bookended by the railroad bridge demolition.  There’s also a bullet-expending ambush and a chase scene at the end.  For guys, these will balance the schmaltzy romance that is intertwined with the action scenes.

            The movie has a fine ensemble cast and the acting is stellar, with the surprising exception of Ingrid Bergman.  She is not believable as Maria.  Maria has seen her parents killed and has been raped by the fascists.  And yet, she is a cheerful person.  She’s just not believable.  Plus, she is much too beautiful to play a guerrilla gal.  Her love scenes with Cooper are rife with smarmy dialogue. In one scene, Jordan and Maria go to sleep after talking in gag-inducing frippery and when they wake up we have to sit through more of it.  Other than the smoochy stuff, the dialogue is fine. The characters are interesting.  Pablo is a spineless jerk, but he gets the films redemption arc.  Jordan is Gary Cooper playing himself.  He did not have to stretch much, but he is perfect in the role, as Hemingway foresaw.  Acting honors go to Oscar-deserving Paxinou.  Her Pilar is a blast (excuse the pun).  She not only should be running the band, she does run the band.  She gets a monologue on being ugly.  And she gets to pull a grenade with her teeth.  She is the first woman I have seen in a war movie who could have actually done that.

            The movie is technically sound.  The lighting for the nighttime scenes is excellent.  Something modern movies have a hard time pulling off.  The score is traditional drama music and the movie seldom does not have music, but it’s a good soundtrack and became the first movie soundtrack to be released as a record.

            The film is a bit predictable, especially if you are familiar with Hemingway’s style.  For instance, Jordan decides to blow up the bridge even though they find out that the purpose for the demolition is no longer in play. The film eschews a happy ending in favor of an appropriate finale for the Hemingway hero Jordan.  Maybe that is why it lost to “Casablanca”.  Jordan does not walk into the misty night with Pilar.

 

GRADE  =  B  

Beau Geste (1966)

 

                   If you don’t like classic movies directed by William Wellman and starring Gary Cooper, Ray Milland, and Robert Preston, you might want to check out a remake from 1966.  That was the year some brainiac decided that the Beau Geste (1939) version could be improved upon with a second rate cast, a one-time movie director, and less from the famous novel.  Before you say “at least it’s in color”, the 1939 was in color, too.  So, if there wasn’t a change in color, what was “improved”?  The brothers Geste are Americans.  There are no scenes from when they were children.  There are no pesky female characters yammering away.  (No female speaks in this movie.)  And the villain’s name was changed just to confuse people.  And one brother was deleted because who needs a guy named Digby?

                   The movie opens in 1906 in the Sahara desert.  A unit of French Legionnaires arrives at a fort that is on fire.  Beau Geste (Guy Stockwell) is the only survivor.  Flashback to Beau and John (Doug McClure) enlisting in the French Foreign Legion after Beau fled from home, taking the blame for an act of embezzlement.  They are put under the charge of the dastardly Sgt. Dagineau (Telly Savalas).  He oversees the requisite training montage that includes marching blind-folded toward a cliff to instill blind obedience.  As if he were not a martinet already, Dagineau receives an anonymous letter threatening him with death.  He focuses his suspicions on Beau.  With the help of a toady named Boldini (David Mauro), he makes life rough for Beau and the rest of the unit.  Things get worse when they are sent to relieve the garrison at the isolated Fort Zinderneuf.   On the way, they are ambushed by the native Tauregs and Dagineau takes command when they reach the fort.  A mutiny against his tyrannic rule is interrupted by a besieging Taureg army. 

                   My advice would be to only watch this movie if you have not read the novel and seen the 1939 movie.  If you have seen the movie, you will spend the whole time wondering why the Hell the screenwriter made such ridiculous changes in the plot.  None of the changes are for the better.  And none of them make sense for box office reasons. Other than the nationalistic changing of Beau and John to Americans.  I’m sure that brought in thousands of Americans who refused to see the original because it was too British.  Unfortunately, this was probably balanced by all the female moviegoers lost by the elimination of women from the film.  Producer Walter Seltzer was attracted to the escapism, adventure, and romance of the earlier version and then he allowed his movie to dilute all those elements.  Another element that made the 1939 version wonderful was the incorporation of a mystery involving the stolen gem.  To drop that element was a very questionable decision for a low budget movie lacking star power.  Speaking of star power, the only reason for doing a remake would have been to see the modern equivalents of Cooper, MIlland, and Preston reenacting the plot. 

                   The best word for the movie is mediocre.  The cast is that of a made-for-TV movie.  Stockwell is bland as the supposed to be dashing Beau and McClure is too sincere as John.  The casting of Savalas for the Brian Donlevy role was a good one.  He is effective as the villain and is the only actor who comes out of this with his head held high.  The action scenes were meant to be the showstoppers, but they are those of a B western.  The Tauregs had just as soon have been Indians attacking a fort.  As usual in a movie of this type (and most B war movies), no enemy is ever wounded.  If shot, they are dead. Until one is just wounded at the end for plot purposes.

                   Just watch the earlier one again.

GRADE  =  C- 

Beau Geste TV series (1982)

                   In 1982, another stab at the P.C. Wren novel was made.  This time by the BBC.  It was divided into eight 30-minute episodes.  It was directed by Douglas Camfield, who did a lot of the “Doctor Who” episodes.  It was filmed in England, including the desert scenes.  As is usual for BBC productions, it follows the source material closely.  Much more closely than any other version.  It is the best option if you do not want to read the novel.  That does not mean it is the best option for entertainment.  Fidelity is not always the best approach for screenwriters.  The novel is a classic, but the 1939 movie made changes for the better.  In this case, it was wisely decided to not try to replicate that movie.  This was wise given the cast available.  Think opposite of Gary Cooper, Ray Milland, Robert Preston, and Brian Donlevy.  Add a low budget. 

GRADE =  C

The Last Legion (2007)

 

            “The Last Legion” is a Dino De Laurentis production. For those of my generation, that used to mean the film was likely a bloated all-star epic, like “Battle of the Bulge” and “Anzio”.  It was one of the last movies that he produced. The film was directed by Doug Lefler, who only had a few television episodes to his credit. It was based on the novel by Valerio Manfredi who helped co-write the screenplay. The story combines two legends because two is better than one, right?  Those legends are the legend of King Arthur, specifically the sword in the stone, and Rome’s Lost Legion. 

            A narrator tells us the movie is set in the waning days of the Roman Empire. A sword made for Julius Caesar had been passed down from emperor to emperor until Tiberius had it hidden upon his death. The sword has magical powers and Rome could sure use them as it is being threatened by barbarians led by Odoacer (Peter Mullan). Rome is pulling back its legions, including the ones in Britain. A Roman general named Aurelius (Colin Firth) has returned to guard the emperor, a boy named Romulus Augustulus (Thomas Brodie-Sangster). When the Goths capture Rome, Romulus is taken captive, but Aurelius escapes. Ambrosinus (Ben Kingsley) is a Merlin-like (actually closer to Obi Wan) advisor who convinces Odoacer to exile Romulus rather than kill him. The suddenly sympathetic barbarian agrees. Aurelius and Mira (Aishwarya Rai) rescue Romulus, who has discovered the sword hidden in Tiberius’ villa. He who finds it is destined to rule (or in this case rerule). The motley crew go on an odyssey that leads to Britain where they hook up with the Lost Legion. The legionaries had stayed in Britain and are now farmers. They will come out of retirement as Romulus is being chased by Goths and they hook up with an evil Britannic chieftain. Let the clanging continue! 

            How could such a good cast make such a bad movie? Clearly, the problem was in the script. By trying to combine two totally unrelated legends, we get a mish-mash that is mostly mush. Trying to jam the Arthur legend into the fall of the Roman Empire requires too much reality suspension. And, in spite of the unique attempt to combine the legends, the movie still ends up predictable. Everything that happens has been done in other medieval movies. The villains are mustache-twirlers. The heroes are saintly. Their dialogue is trite and embarrassing for thespians like Firth and Kingsley. I wonder if they were told beforehand that the movie was going to premiere in Abu Dhabi. That should have caused some second-thoughts about signing on, but then again, they have nobody to blame but themselves since they had access to the script. Maybe they were in it for the free trip to Abu Dhabi.

            Typical of a De Laurentis production, the action scenes are second-rate. The CGI is terrible. The soundtrack is Disneyesque. The action scenes look like they are copying a Bruce Lee movie. The combat keeps trying to top itself with more and more ahistorical weapons. For example, we are treated to a multi-arrow launcher. The choreography is brainless and derivative. On the plus side, the 9^th Legion “rides to the rescue” in a testudo.

            “The Last Legion” was the first of three movies that featured Roman legionaries in Britain. The others were “Centurion” in 2010 and “The Eagle” in 2011. I am a big fan of Roman history, in particular the Roman army. It is always nice to see movies on that subject, but we have not been too blessed with these movies. “Centurion” is a B movie and “The Eagle” is a C. Both are entertaining, if disappointing. “The Last Legion” is just an embarrassment.

GRADE  =  D