Monday, March 25, 2019

LIVE: Battle Force (2012)

*** This movie is so obscure I couldn't find a poster.

‘The worst is yet to come.’  Is this a reference to the plot?  //  ‘In 1942, an elite fighting unit made up of US and Canadians was formed.  Officially named the 1st Special Services Force, they were made up of mountain men, hunters, and all-around misfits.  They were trained to scale cliffs, jump out of airplanes, and kill Nazis.’  This sounds like the Devil’s Brigade.  //  a Scott Martin film – directed by Scott Martin, written by Scott Martin, and starring Scott Martin (as Lt. Wright) – what better pedigree than that?  The man is a genius!  //  We are on the coast of Sicily.  Four soldiers wearing various uniforms (damn you, local army surplus!)  and a partisan are ambushed.  They are captured and beaten by a suave Nazi officer.  He pulls a tooth with some pliers.  //  A special mission to rescue the captives is organized led by a Lt. and six hand-picked heroes. One of them is an asshole appropriately named Dickie. //  Saying goodbye to the ladies, one of the men kisses his girl on her forehead!  The Lt. asks his wife if he can sleep with locals as part of the mission.  Truth is important in a marriage.  //  Dickie is trying a Mississippi accent – please make him stop!  //  They encounter a firefight between Germans and the Italian resistance.  They have no clue how many or where, but they plunge in anyway.  All hand-held camerawork.  No reloading, of course.  One of the partisans is a hot chick who stabs a captive German at least ten times.  Hubba, hubba!  Dickie puts the moves on her as the designated ladies' man.  //  They attack an inn where they Swiss cheese two Germans.   All we see is the blood splattering on our heroes.  They add another girl to their group so one of the girls can be killed.  //  They find Capt. Lewis being guarded by only one German.  He’s not tied up and he has all his teeth.  Hmmm.  //  They get surrounded and make a run losing one man.  //  They take refuge in an abandoned village.  Lewis seems suspiciously off. Sure enough, he stabs a guy who confronts him.  //  Some of the dialogue is indecipherable, which is a good thing.  //  Here come the Germans led by the bad Nazi.  Lewis switches sides.  //  They are on the run now and getting whittled down.  This leads to a knife fight between the Lt. and Lewis.  Lewis tells us the reason he is a traitor is he got sent on that bull shit opening mission when he should have been on the planning staff for D-Day along with Ike and Patton!  The fight is well choreographed.  Guess who wins?  //  The survivors are trapped on a beach, just like at the beginning.  Dickie duels with the bad German.   He kills him with his accent.  3 for 6 in the survival department.

ANALYSIS:   “Battle Force” is not bad for a home movie.  Considering the budget, it is not terrible.  It ain’t good either.  The acting is amateurish because the actors are amateurs, duh!  The dialogue is atrocious (especially Dickie), but to be expected.  There is no cursing, grandpa.  One of the fun things about bad war movies is the laughable soldier talk.  The movie actually has good wound effects and gunfire sounds.  Hard to explain that.  The money they saved on actors must have been spent on effects.  “Battle Force” is not the worst movie of this type that I have seen, but I certainly would not recommend it unless you are on a quest to see every war movie ever made, like me.

GRADE  =  D-

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