The Last Legion (2007)

 

            “The Last Legion” is a Dino De Laurentis production. For those of my generation, that used to mean the film was likely a bloated all-star epic, like “Battle of the Bulge” and “Anzio”.  It was one of the last movies that he produced. The film was directed by Doug Lefler, who only had a few television episodes to his credit. It was based on the novel by Valerio Manfredi who helped co-write the screenplay. The story combines two legends because two is better than one, right?  Those legends are the legend of King Arthur, specifically the sword in the stone, and Rome’s Lost Legion. 

            A narrator tells us the movie is set in the waning days of the Roman Empire. A sword made for Julius Caesar had been passed down from emperor to emperor until Tiberius had it hidden upon his death. The sword has magical powers and Rome could sure use them as it is being threatened by barbarians led by Odoacer (Peter Mullan). Rome is pulling back its legions, including the ones in Britain. A Roman general named Aurelius (Colin Firth) has returned to guard the emperor, a boy named Romulus Augustulus (Thomas Brodie-Sangster). When the Goths capture Rome, Romulus is taken captive, but Aurelius escapes. Ambrosinus (Ben Kingsley) is a Merlin-like (actually closer to Obi Wan) advisor who convinces Odoacer to exile Romulus rather than kill him. The suddenly sympathetic barbarian agrees. Aurelius and Mira (Aishwarya Rai) rescue Romulus, who has discovered the sword hidden in Tiberius’ villa. He who finds it is destined to rule (or in this case rerule). The motley crew go on an odyssey that leads to Britain where they hook up with the Lost Legion. The legionaries had stayed in Britain and are now farmers. They will come out of retirement as Romulus is being chased by Goths and they hook up with an evil Britannic chieftain. Let the clanging continue! 

            How could such a good cast make such a bad movie? Clearly, the problem was in the script. By trying to combine two totally unrelated legends, we get a mish-mash that is mostly mush. Trying to jam the Arthur legend into the fall of the Roman Empire requires too much reality suspension. And, in spite of the unique attempt to combine the legends, the movie still ends up predictable. Everything that happens has been done in other medieval movies. The villains are mustache-twirlers. The heroes are saintly. Their dialogue is trite and embarrassing for thespians like Firth and Kingsley. I wonder if they were told beforehand that the movie was going to premiere in Abu Dhabi. That should have caused some second-thoughts about signing on, but then again, they have nobody to blame but themselves since they had access to the script. Maybe they were in it for the free trip to Abu Dhabi.

            Typical of a De Laurentis production, the action scenes are second-rate. The CGI is terrible. The soundtrack is Disneyesque. The action scenes look like they are copying a Bruce Lee movie. The combat keeps trying to top itself with more and more ahistorical weapons. For example, we are treated to a multi-arrow launcher. The choreography is brainless and derivative. On the plus side, the 9^th Legion “rides to the rescue” in a testudo.

            “The Last Legion” was the first of three movies that featured Roman legionaries in Britain. The others were “Centurion” in 2010 and “The Eagle” in 2011. I am a big fan of Roman history, in particular the Roman army. It is always nice to see movies on that subject, but we have not been too blessed with these movies. “Centurion” is a B movie and “The Eagle” is a C. Both are entertaining, if disappointing. “The Last Legion” is just an embarrassment.

GRADE  =  D  

Morituri (1965)

Today is the 16th anniversary of the first post on this blog. I am proud that I have continued for this long and have no plans to end any time soon. At the time I started, it was a project to watch all of Military History magazine's 100 Greatest War Movies. One per week. That turned out to be wildly optimistic, especially since I soon decided to review other war movies. And then when I completed all 100 of the supposed greatest war movies, I moved on to my own 100 Best War Movies. If you had told me in 2010 that I would write reviews for over 700 war movies, I would have laughed and said "There are not 700 war movies". Well, it turns out there are a lot more than 700, so I still have a long "to be reviewed" list. Thanks to all who have followed this blog. 

For this anniversary post, I chose a movie that is not well known. One goal of this blog is to introduce war movie fans to movies they have not seen. "Morituri" has a special connection to me because I watched it when I was at my grandparent's home after my grandma died.  Funny how movies can be memorable because of the situation when they were watched. 

            “Morituri” is based on the 1958 book by German author Werner Luddecke.  He got the title from the gladiator salute:  “Morituri te salutant” (“We who are about to die, salute you.”).  It was directed by Bernhard Wicki (“Die Brucke”).  The movie was a bomb, despite its stellar cast.  It didn’t help that Marlon Brando had to be forced to do a publicity tour due to contractual obligations.  At his first press conference, he said:  “You will be unable to proceed in life unless you see Morituri.”  The studio shut down his tour.  The movie was well received by critics and nominated for Academy Awards for Best Black and White Cinematography and Best Black and White Costume Design (for a movie that is almost totally on a cargo ship).  It was rereleased as “The Saboteur:  Code Name Morituri”.

            The movie begins in 1942 Japan.  A British colonel (Trevor Howard) blackmails a German explosives expert into doing a special mission that will win the war.  Crain (Brando) is a pacifist who left Germany because of Nazism.  The job is to disarm the scuttling charges on board the SS Ingo, so it can’t be sunk before a British warship intercepts and boards.  The ship is carrying a cargo of rubber to France.  For some unspecified reason that rubber can not make it to the German war machine.  (Don’t ask why the British don’t just sink the ship.)  Captain Mueller (Yul Brenner) is an anti-Nazi with a past.  He lost a ship because he was drunk.  He does not welcome Crain aboard because Crain’s false identity is that of an SS officer.  Mueller’s executive officer Kruse is happy to have a kindred spirit on board.  The ship has a motley crew that includes political prisoners who are being punished for their anti-Nazi views.  Crain secretly meanders the bowels of the ship disarming the explosives.  Things get complicated when the ship encounters a Japanese sub with German officers on board.  They transfer some American prisoners and a Jewish woman named Esther (Janet Margolin).  She has been raped several times, but remains feisty.  The movie builds to a climax that includes a mutiny and a change of Crain’s plans. 

            I saw “Morituri” when I was a freshman in college and it was memorable.  It took me several decades to watch it again.  The film is not well-known, partly as a result of it being deemed a failure.  It is an odd bird.  It certainly has an imaginative plot.  Unfortunately, to get where it is going, it has to jump through some hoops that make some of the developments implausible.  That does not mean that the movie is laughable.  This despite having Wally Cox in the cast.  He plays a doctor who is addicted to morphine!  It is actually a pretty good performance.  In fact, the best thing the movie has going for it is a good cast that gives fine performances.  The pairing of Brando and Brenner is worth the watch although neither had the movie at the top of their resume.  (I found it sad to watch Brenner smoking.  He died of lung cancer and before he passed, he made an anti-cigarette commercial.)  The characters in the movie are intriguing.  Esther stands out in spite of her being included to get a reference to the Holocaust into the film.  The movie avoids most cliches, but it does have the Cold War trope of a good German (Mueller) versus an evil Nazi (Kruse). 

            The movie is entertaining mainly due to the performances.  Another strength is the Oscar-nominated cinematography.  The shots of Crain meandering through the insides of the ship are impressive.  And you have to credit the screenplay with being unpredictable.  It does take a long time to get there, but it’s worth the wait. 

GRADE  =  B-

Three Days in the Life of Lt. Kravtsova (2012)

                   My latest treadmill viewing was the Amazon Prime series “Three Days in the Life of Lt. Kravtsova”.  It is four episodes totaling 184 minutes.  It comes from Star Media, the folks that brought you “Night Swallows” and “The Attackers”.  It covers three days in the life of a young officer on the Eastern Front in WWII. 

                   Lt. Kravtsova is green and this will be his first command.  On the trip to his platoon, he is informed that the average life expectancy for a lieutenant is three days.  His platoon is a motley group who are veterans.  They don’t have high hopes for their new leader.  He wants to do right and studies and memorizes his manual.  They proceed to tell him how it really works at the front.  He’s got some real learning to do and the learning curve is steep.  The platoon is manning a trench with a no man’s land of about fifty yards separating them from a German platoon.  It’s basically a live and let live situation, with occasional futile attacks.  Kravtsova is told to stay low because snipers only shoot at officers.  The men are skeptical of his leadership and when he leads an attack at first few follow him.  However, he is brave, if naïve, and gradually earns their respect.  Kravtsova is caught between the platoon and his superiors.  He has to follow orders from men who are clueless about the actual situation at the front.  When a major comes visit, he orders the sniping of a German getting water from a stream in no man’s land.  He is told this will break an unwritten rule, but cares not.  Meanwhile, romance is brewing between Kravtsova and a local farm girl.  This is building toward a suicide mission to take out a forward observation post.  The mission happens on the third day.

                   “Three Days…” is a typical Star Media production.  It has a low budget feel to it.  The trench set is fine, but small scale.  No man’s land looks like a field and the village looks like a village that was available for cheap.  The uniforms and weapons appear authentic.  The acting is actually better than you could hope for.  Alex Sparrow is well cast as Kravtsova.  He is a rising star in Russian television and music.  Kravtsova is naïve, but sincere, and he grows in the job.  His wooing of the girl (who is no beauty) is refreshingly chaste.  The platoon members have distinct personalities and you do care about their fates.  As is true for Russian WWII television series, the officer class is portrayed as mostly competent and empathetic toward the soldiers.  There is always a villain, however.

                   The weakness of the series is the confused nature of the combat.  Most of the tactics make no sense.  For instance, once they find out where the observation post is, it would have made more sense to bombard it (which they eventually do) rather than sending a squad.  The combat is visceral and one no man’s land confrontation is combat porn.  At least with the action scenes, you don’t have to rely on the subtitles.  Star Media is notorious for its sometimes laughable subtitling, but this series is the worst I’ve seen.  Plus, I often could not read them because they were set against a light background.  And often you would have to be a speed-reader to keep up.

                   In conclusion, I would recommend it for bingeing if you don’t require top flight entertainment.  It is short and the main character is appealing.  Just learn Russian first.

GRADE  =  C 

Drums Along the Mohawk (1939)

            “Drums Along the Mohawk” is a John Ford (“The Horse Soldiers”) film set in the Revolutionary War. It was based on the novel by Walter Edmonds. It was nominated for one Academy Award – Best Supporting Actress (Edna May Oliver). The movie was a box office hit.

            The movie begins in 1776 Albany, New York. Lana (Claudette Colbert) marries Gilbert (Henry Fonda) and she leaves her upper class urban life for life on the frontier on a small farm. Her new home is a log cabin. It’s quite a contrast to the civilized life of the cities. It is a rough transition and she wants to go home. Next scene we see her as a proper frontier woman. We all know she is going to get there so why bother using film to show how she evolves?  It’s tough life even if they didn’t have the Indian and Tory problems in the valley. They are going to have to deal with Indians led by the dastardly Caldwell. How do we know he is a villain? He has an eye patch and he is played by John Carradine. Caldwell is balanced by a friendly Oneida Indian named Blue Back (Chief John Big Tree). He’s a “good” Indian. (I won’t get into the fact that Blue Back was a fool to support the Americans.) The naïve Gil wonders why this is happening. “I don’t know why we’d have trouble with the Indians.” Duh, you are taking their valley! There are times when the pioneers have to take refuge in Fort Schuyler. It’s built of lincoln logs. One of those times, Gil and Lana return to a burned out farm. They are forced to live and work for a feisty widow named Mrs. McKlennar (Oliver).  It’s on now. Gil’s militia unit marches off to get revenge. They should have taken their drilling more seriously become back with their tail between their legs. This was the Battle of Oriskany, but we don’t get to see it for obvious reasons. Gil claims that the whupped the Indians, but in reality they got their asses whipped. For a while, the valley is quiet and the farming is good, but that would be a boring ending act, so we get another Indian/Tory siege of the fort.

            “Drums Along the Mohawk” is very much a John Ford film and is very much of its time. It is basically a western set in the east. The Indians are evil, whooping savages being used by the British. The only good Indian is the one who warns them about Indian attacks. Ford directs many of his stereotype characters. The cheerful drunk, the crust old widow, the anti-pacifist preacher, the pampered young woman who is forced to adjust to frontier life. The cast is full of recognizable character actors. Surprisingly, the cast includes an actual Indian playing Blue Back. Chief John Big Tree appeared in over 50 movies. Fonda and Colbert are excellent as the central couple. It can be argued that Lana is the central character. The movie does not go to war with Gil. It stays with Lana. She’s the one who is most impacted by life in the Mohawk Valley.  The film is stolen by Edna May Oliver. The Best Supporting Actress category was created for perfomances like hers. It reminds me of Margaret Wycherly as momma York in “Sergeant York”.  Oliver lost to Hattie McDaniel in “Gone With the Wind”. No shame there.

            Ford gives a taste of life in colonial America. There is a church scene with a hymn. We see a birthing. There is a wedding. All of this in vibrant Technicolor (Ford’s first use of it.)  It is a beautiful film to watch. Ford interjects his trademark humor. The soundtrack fits the film well and pushes emotional buttons to enhance the visuals. Although it has the feel of an epic, it is actually only 104 minutes long. There is little action, but there is a great chase scene (I bet you did not see that coming) where Gil has to outrun three Indians to go for help. That’s right, Henry Fonda outruns some Indians. (Thank God none of them had a bow and arrow.)

            The movie is actually based on historical events, even though it is based on a novel. It has the feel of a chapter in a 4^th grade American History textbook. Some of the characters are historical persons, including Caldwell who was a British agent who was a British officer who fought in several places during the war. Sometimes he commanded Indian allies. He survived the war and fought in the War of 1812. He probably did not wear an eye patch. Herkimer did die after his leg was amputated after the Battle of Oriskany. The fort was not actually in the center of the farmland. When it was besieged, it was garrisoned by Continental Army soldiers, not militia. And it was attacked by British soldiers. Because of the timing of the movie, it was determined that the British could not be the bad guys at a time when America was looking at the possibility of fighting on their side in the upcoming world war. The movie resonated with audiences who could imagine the men going off to war in the near future, just like Gil was forced to do.

            “Drums Along the Mohawk” is a must-see movie. It is Ford at his best with a top notch cast. Like many of his westerns, it passes on the myths of frontier life. That makes it a shaky history lesson. So watch it as a novel brought to the screen in vibrant color.

GRADE  =  B-