Strike Commando (1987)

 

            “Strike Commando” is a Macaroni Combat movie directed by Bruno Mattei.  He made a career of directing many exploitation movies including Macaroni Combat films like “SS Girls”.  That title alone will give you an idea about his output.  Although most of this subgenre are WWII tales, there are some set in the Vietnam War.

            The movie opens with a raid on a North Vietnamese base.  One of the black commandoes talks about eating watermelons.  (Racism seems to be a characteristic of Macaroni Combat movies.)        Things are going well until their cover is blown and at that point their commander Col. Radek (Chris Connelly) sets off the explosives prematurely from afar.  (That’s one long detonation cord!)  The subsequent numerous explosions decimate the commando squad with only  one survivor, Ransom (Reb Brown).  He is blown into a river and presumed dead.  He washes up at a village that is pro-American and anti-Russian (because they are supporting the VC).  He befriends a boy named Shortround, oops Lao.  He attempts to lead the villagers to American lines.  The Russians and Col. Radek are both trying to prevent this.  It doesn’t take long for Ransom to take his shirt off.  Ostensibly to swim out to a gunboat to blow it up with a grenade.  He is then chased by a Soviet behemoth named Jakota (Alex Vitale).  Surprisingly, when he gets back, he doesn’t wreak vengeance on Radek.  Because they still have film in the cameras, he is sent on another mission that gets him caught by the enemy and held in a prison camp.  He gets tortured using electricity.  Is this beginning to sound familiar?  Sexy Russian woman.  Escape.  Flame thrower.  Chase. Kill, kill, kill..  Duel.  Revenge time.

            While the production values are a bit higher than in most of this ilk, “Strike Commando” is not a cut above most of them.  I had read an article that claimed it is one of the better ones, but I can’t vouch for this.  Some of them have a kitschy quality to them and can be entertaining if you are drinking enough.  No amount of alcohol will make this one entertaining.  Oh, it has its guffawing moments.  Like when Ransom is disguised as a tree.  I counted ten times that I laughed out loud.  However, I shook my head more than I giggled.  Before you ask if it is a satire of the imminently mockable Rambo, it is a copycat.  There’s a difference.  You’ll laugh not at the humor of the chained-to-the-metal-mattress-to-electrocute scene, but the lameness of it.  You laugh at the first twenty ridiculous deaths, but you’ll be bludgeoned by the next 72.  That’s right, Ransom kills 92.  Another clue that it is not a satire is the acting.  It is Macaroni Combat bad, not wink, wink bad.  The best that can be said about Brown’s acting ability is he has good abs.  As far as Connelly, he does check off the American actor box, but usually those types are either slumming or has beens.  Or both.

            I know what you are thinking. But Buff, don’t you realize it’s all in fun?  Where’s your sense of humor?  Hey, I laughed when “Hot Shots!” made fun of Rambo.  I giggled when Weird Al took his shot in “UHF”.  The fact is that Macaroni Combat films are not noted for their intentional humor.  Sure, they all have their hilarious moments (I laughed ten times), but it’s because they are so bad.  Sometimes that can be entertaining.  This time not.  However, if you like oodles of killings and your girlfriend or wife likes shirtless hunks, go for it.  Now I’m on to “SS Girls”.  But not "Strike Commando 2".  Once was enough.

GRADE  =  F