THE STEEL CLAW (1961)

 

                “The Steel Claw” is a George Montgomery movie set in the Philippines around Christmas time after the Japanese invasion.  That’s right, it’s a Christmas movie!  You couldn’t tell that from the title?  The movie was a labor of love for Montgomery and a gift for his multitude of fans.  He starred, co-wrote, produced, and directed.  The man was the Da Vinci of B movies.  Speaking of producing, it looks like he emptied his wallet to pay for the movie.  I mean literally.  He did have a crate of pineapples that he was able to use to hire some Filipino actors.

                It’s Christmas Day in 1941 in Manila.  Capt. Larsen (Montgomery) is visiting a brothel.  He’s a regular.  He is not in a Christmas spirit because he has recently lost a hand and has just a stump.  Now that his playboy persona and disability have been established, it’s off to a special mission.  Larsen has to go into the jungle to hook up with a rebel leader named Santana (Mario Barri).  Larsen is to ransom a captured American general for $5,000 (ironically, the same amount spent on the film).  At the rebel camp he meets a tramp.  Her name is Lolita (of course) and she is the type of girl who feeds the chickens while wearing high heels.  There is some painful to watch flirting accompanied by sappy romantic music.  Before setting off into the wilds, Larsen fashions himself a steel claw using the local blacksmith facilities.  Santana’s band joins a band led by the sexy Rosa (Carmen Austin).  She and Santana have something going on which makes four because Lolita insists on coming along in her high heels.  She is almost eaten by a giant snake and gets a spanking from Larsen.  Frolicking then ensues.

                They ambush a train using Rosa disguised as a sexy water buffalo herder.  The train is used for an assault on the Japanese base.  This results in a wild fire fight with some of the most hilarious deaths I have ever seen in a war movie.  (And that’s coming from a war movie death aficionado.)  As if the action cannot get more intense, we are now treated to a train chase!  The general is rescued, but he is not who he appears to be.  Lolita is wounded and may not make it.  They are in a race against time to reach the rendezvous ship.

                When I saw that the movie starred George Montgomery I thought that since I had heard of this actor, the movie might be a step above the kind of WWII movies you can watch on You Tube.  Wrong!  The movie is incredibly bad, but does have the guffaw factor.  I laughed out loud several times, mostly at some of the ludicrous deaths which included a shark victim.  You have to give the extras credit for giving their all in their demises.  The movie appears to have been made without rehearsing and with only one take for each scene.  The acting is wooden with the exception of Barri who brings some panache to his role as Santana.  He outacts the gringo Montgomery.  There is a modicum of homage to the Filipino guerrillas and you do have the female rebel leader so there is some homage there (although I think it was probably due to Montgomery sleeping with Ms. Austin). The dialogue is what keeps the movie from being a messterpiece.  It is actually not horrible.  We do get the memorable line when they are waiting for the ship:  “Keep listening and listen hard.”  Unfortunately there are not too many howlers like that one.

                “The Steel Claw” is a must see if you are the George Montgomery fan.  Otherwise, avoid it like the plague.

 

GRADE  =  F