Each
year I check on what war movies are being planned for the future. Often there are movies that sound interesting
on paper and I look forward to someday seeing them. As I look back over the years, many of those
intriguing titles never made it into production. And some, unfortunately, did. This leads me to wonder two things: 1. Why do good movies not get made? 2. Why
do bad movies get green-lighted? “Beyond
Valkyrie” fits in the second category.
It was directed by Claudio Fah.
Remember that name. He’s going to
be big someday. Or not. The movie went straight-to-video which still
means that it got further than a bunch of the titles I had been looking forward
to. Life is not fair.
The
movie begins with a title card that informs us that Germany is losing the war,
but the Nazis are stockpiling something in East Prussia. In England, “Operation Jedburgh” has the
mission of going behind enemy lines to bring out a German officer who is part
of Operation Valkyrie (the attempt on Hitler’s life). The movie is unclear about why they need this
guy, but don’t worry about it - the script doesn’t. A below average CGI transport plane gets shot
down and our four commandoes are on their own.
They are led by Capt. Blackburn (Sean Patrick Flanery) and include a
crusty sergeant played by Tom Sizemore.
If you continue watching after Sizemore’s involvement in the movie, you
are truly a war movie fan and/or a masochist.
Either way, keep drinking.
Our
quartet hooks up with four Soviets led by Maj. Kulkov (Pasha Lychnikoff). There is a Mexican standoff before the Allies
bond. They are joined by a hot spy
(actress Julie Engelbrecht in case you want to skip the movie and see just this
scene) who gratuitously shows her
breasts to assure us we are watching a straight-to-video movie. The band of brothers are trapped in a house by
Nazis leading to a ridiculous shootout with the usual German mindless
assaulters being mowed down. Think "Where Eagles Dare". Then it’s
on to rescue the good Nazi while being chased by the evil Nazi. It all gets a bit redundant with prodigious expenditure
of ammo. The German soldiers are worse
shots than Imperial Stormtroopers.
“Beyond
Valkyrie” is not the sequel to the Tom Cruise movie that you were hoping
for. And this time they still don’t get
Hitler. What we have here is the classic
straight-to-DVD bait and switch involving a title. Of course, if you are fooled by the title,
you get what you deserve. And that means
terrible effects, terrible acting, terrible dialogue… you get the idea. Or I could have simply said you get Tom
Sizemore.
GRADE
= F
