T-34 (2019)

 

                    “T-34” premiered at Comic-Con Russia in 2018.  If this is a red flag for you, don’t watch it.  It was directed and written by Aleksey Syodrov.  Several T-34 tanks were remade for the film.  A village was built for one of the big set pieces.  The movie was a big hit in Russia and up until recently was the second highest grossing film in Russian history.

                    The movie is the story of Lt. Nikolay Ivushkin (Alexander Petrov).  In Dec., 1941 he is pressed into service commanding a T-34 tank defending a village alone.  What follows is a gonzo battle between his tank and six panzers.  How gonzo?  Nikolay takes out two tanks with one round.  It comes down to a duel with an evil Nazi named Jager (Vinzenz Kiefer).  When the dust from the destroyed village clears, Nikolay is a captive.  Three years later, he is in a concentration camp.  Jager is put in charge of a unit of Hitler Youth who will command the tanks that will turn the war around.  He has the bright idea of training them against a real T-34 with a real Soviet crew.  He recognized Nikolay and tabs him for the role.  He threatens to kill his Russian interpreter Anya (Irina Starshenbaum) to get Nikolay to agree.  He picks a driver and a gunner and they hatch a plan to escape during the mock battle.  And, what the heck, they’ll bring Anya with them. 

                    If you are expecting a realistic movie about the Great Patriotic War, skip this.  It was described by some Russian critics as “Fast and Furious” in tanks.  Premiering at a Comic-Con clues you in on the fact that Syodrov was aiming his movie at the younger generation, not Russia’s greatest generation.  This is clear from the ridiculous plot developments.  Parts of the plot make no sense.  Parts make total sense to anyone who has watched war movies because the movie does not avoid cliches.  The hero versus the villain, ending in a duel.  Nikolay and crew are given a special mission.  The hero has leadership thrust on him.  A romance is shoe-horned in.   And then there are the violations of the laws of physics and weaponry.  I did mention “Fast and Furious”.  So just keep drinking and enjoy the mayhem.  It is entertaining in a mindless way.  And the acting is a decent.  Even though Nikolay and Jager don’t break any new ground in the hero versus villain trope, they are well-played. 

                    But all anyone cares about is the tank battles and here the movie hits its target audience.  We follow shells via CGI, but those shells are being fired by real tanks.  The interiors give some verisimilitude and the firing procedure seems to conform to reality.  That’s where reality ends in the battles, but they are action-packed.  There are several tank duels in the three big action set pieces.  This is the kind of movie that if the test audience was wowed by a shell grazing a tank, why not do it again?

                    I can see the appeal of the movie and it does have its fans.  But it defied reality too much for me and I do not believe Syodrov meant for it to be taken tongue in cheek.  I think he expected for younger people to say “yeah, that could have happened”.  No, it couldn’t.  So, if you found problems with “Fury”, you will not like this movie.  But if you liked “White Tiger”, you’ll love “T-34”.  It’s a better movie.  But that’s not saying much.

GRADE  =  C+