In the 1980s, Hollywood went through a “rescue the
Vietnam War POWs” phase. Some
outstanding cinema resulted – according to fourteen year old boys. The standard bearers were “Rambo: First Blood
II” and “Uncommon Valor”. I was
surprised to find that “Uncommon Valor” came out first. In fact, we were also blessed with “Missing
in Action” before “Rambo: First Blood”.
“Uncommon Valor” was directed by Ted Kotcheff (whose previous film was
the original Rambo). It was a box office
hit, but got mixed reviews. RFBII was a
sequel to the movie where a PTSD-sodden vet destroys an entire city police
department in anti-heroic righteousness.
The body count was deemed to be wimpy, so the sequel was demanded. Plus it contributed greatly to the trope of the unstable Vietnam veteran, so that instability needed to be channeled into positive mission. It was directed by the one and only George
Cosmatos (who redeemed himself a bit with “Tombstone”). Believe it or not, James Cameron wrote the
first draft of the screenplay, but Stallone insisted on more politics and got
co-writer credit. Stallone wrote all the
dialogue for his character, I assume.
He has about twenty lines. Stallone
nixed the addition of a side-kick to be played by John Travolta. The movie was a humongous hit, making $300
million.
"Yo, Adrienne - I got another franchise!"
RFBII begins with Rambo in prison (what lame-ass jury
convicted him?). Col. Trautman (Richard
Crenna) proposes a pardon in exchange for a mission to see if there really are American
POWs still being held in Vietnam after the war. Rambo asks “Do we get to win the war this time?” However, the mission is strictly recon. A slimy politician named Murdock (Charles
Napier) is using Rambo to prove there are no POWs being held. Only a Neanderthal like Rambo would not be
aware that he is being set up. He is
also not bothered by the fact that there is no training or preparation for the
mission. Not even a montage. When Rambo parachutes in (losing all his high
tech equipment and his shirt in the process), he hooks up with a female agent named Co-Bao
(Julia Nickson) who speaks better English than Rambo, of course. When Rambo observes the camp he finds that
there are Americans being held and mistreated to boot. The movie tells the ignorant American
moviegoers that the Vietnamese held Americans because we reneged on reparations
payments! He defies his mission
parameters to rescue one of them. Let
the killing begin. In Stallonesque
irony, Rambo ends up back in the camp so he can be tortured by Russians. Oscar please!
(Razzie instead.) Co-Bao helps
him escape and then something happens to her that breaks Rambo’s usual
self-composure. He is so angry, ordinary
arrows will not express his feelings. He
has to have explosive tipped arrows.
There is some chopper on chopper action and enough gratuitous violence
to sate any middle school boy. He
rescues all the prisoners and then confronts Murdock on behalf of all the
veterans who were dissed when they returned home. And through the power of film, America was
able to feel better about the Vietnam War.
don't they know you don't want to make him angry?
“Uncommon Valor” deals with a father’s quest to
rescue his missing in action son from a Laos prison camp. Col. Rhodes (Gene Hackman), with bankrolling
from a millionaire who also is searching for his son, assembles a motle crew
of the assorted types. They include a PTSD "tunnel rat" (Fred Willard), a mentally unstable hulk (Randall Cobb playing himself), and a black guy who is an explosives expert called "Dead Meat". (Actually, "Blaster".) Their trainer
Scott (Patrick Swayze) has never been in the shit, but eventually is accepted by the grunts. Unlike RFBII, they go through
extensive training, including a dress rehearsal in a mock-up of the camp. It goes swimmingly so Hollywood can once more
put the FUBAR doctrine into effect. The
first example of this trope is when their weapons are confiscated by the CIA in
Thailand. It seems the government is in
cover-up mode when it comes to MIAs in Laos.
Since these mercenaries are at heart cuddly, they pool their money to
buy some WWII surplus weapons. At least it will now be a fair fight with the
enemy. General Mayhem takes command at
the camp and let the whittling begin.
The good guy mortality rate ends up at 40%. The rescued sons’ rate is 50%.
Stallone got a lot of acting tips by watching Randall Cobb's performance
Naturally there are some similarities between the two
movies besides the obvious "going behind enemy lines to rescue prisoners" plot. Both blame the continued captivity
of the Americans on a cynical government and shame the American public for its
treatment of Vietnam veterans. Each
believes we could have and should have won the war. They both have a schmaltzy song over
credits. When will war movies learn to
avoid original songs? Both have a very
implausible romance thrown in to placate the women being dragged to the
theater. “Valor” spends more time on
character development since it is not a one man show. It has some
humor, whereas “Rambo” is bereft of it.
The parodies have made up for that.
totally natural group shot
Surprisingly, “Rambo” has the better acting,
which is pretty damning for “Valor”.
Stallone may not be much of a thespian, but he does have charisma. Nickson is not bad as his girlfriend. The villains do a good job not overshadowing
Stallone’s acting. Cartoonish would be
the best description of their performances.
“Valor” has a better cast, but is a disappointment. If it had not been for the casting of
Hackman, the movie would be complete crap.
“Valor” does have the advantage in dialogue because it is painful to
listen to what comes out of the mouths in “Rambo”. Especially the closing speech by Rambo.
maybe I should be more selective and not make ten movies a year
Cutting
to the chase, the big comparison has to be in quality and quantity of
action. “Rambo” wins on both
counts. Hell, it does not even bother
with the usual training scene. Nobody
cares. Let’s get to Rambo being Rambo as
soon as possible. Before he’s done, he
has killed 57 bad guys. This is done
with a variety of weapons. All of them
cool. There are also the requisite
explosions that the audience demands.
“Valor” can’t match the body count but is competitive in
explosions. The unit even withstands
real explosions during training! It also
has a blown up bridge. Got to love
that. Literally, because it’s the law.
the last sight of many an extra
I
had not seen RFBII since I was a young adult.
At the time I took umbrage at its ridiculous right wing propaganda and
attempt to rewrite the ending of the war.
I was appalled at how the movie had given my students a false impression
of the war. When I rewatched it, I
discovered that it is no longer provocative.
If you have the right frame of mind (and lots of alcohol), it can be
seen for what it now is – macho bull shit as entertainment for the masses. Even though it has no humor, it is still a
deeply hilarious movie. “Uncommon Valor”
is not nearly as much fun. It takes
itself more seriously, but the implementation of the predictable plot is
underwhelming.
In
honor of the upcoming World Cup final match, I thought it would be appropriate
to review the only war soccer (sorry rest of the world, but that’s what I’m
going to call it) movie that I am aware of.Talk about a tiny subgenre.It is
my favorite movie that combines war (specifically the prisoner of war subgenre)
and soccer.I actually saw it long
before I became a soccer coach.I now
use it in my Soccer P.E. class on rainy days.The boys love it, what’s not to like? It combines their favorite sport
with war.
The
movie opens with an escaping prisoner being machine gunned while caught in the
barbed wire surrounding the prison camp.This abuses you of any thought that it might be a comedy.There is no time frame given but it would
appear to be 1942 as there is a reference to British successes in North
Africa.A German officer named Von
Steiner (Max Von Sydow) proposes a match between a team of POWs led by a
British officer named Colby (Michael Caine) and the German national team.Both men are former professional soccer
players.Von Steiner seems sincere in
just wanting to have an international match, but Nazi propagandists quickly see
the potential for an ass-whipping display of Aryan superiority.Von Steiner facilitates a fair match by
allowing Colby’s squad to get special treatment and even gets Colby some
emaciated and mistreated Eastern European stars from other prison camps.Colby’s team includes a very talented Luis
(Pele) from Trinidad.It also includes a
typically obnoxious, cocky, soccer-challenged Yank named Hatch (Sylvester
Stallone).The subplot of Hatch escaping
from the camp is somehow blended into the soccer match plot which itself is
morphed into a prison escape.It is not
as pretzely as you would anticipate.All
of this builds to the match in Colombe Stadium in Paris.It is arranged for the team to escape at
half-time, but will they flee as losers?
“Victory”
(also known as “Escape to Victory”) was one of John Huston’s ("The African Queen") last films.I’m guessing most cinephiles are surprised to
be reminded that he directed it.In
fact, movie has been long forgotten by most.I was under the impression that it had bombed
when it came out, but my research shows that it was a moderate success and even
got mostly positive reviews.It was
filmed in Budapest because the city looked more like 1940s Paris than Paris
did.Budapest also had a 1940ish soccer
stadium.
The movie is technically
proficient with a well-constructed three acre prison camp set.The barracks are a bit too pristine, but the
settings are realistic.The
cinematography is nothing special until the match where Gerry Fisher does a
wonderful job lensing the action.We get
a mixture of close-ups, medium, and longer range shots that manage to avoid
making the game look fake.There is even
some slow motion (like on Pele’s bicycle kick).Quick cuts work perfectly to make the game look like a battle.It also reduces the visuals that might have soccer
fans crying fake.The way the game is
depicted is among the best cinema contests.The game was choreographed by a former pro with input from Pele (who I
would imagine was listened to when he spoke). Amazingly, on a key foul that results in a penalty kick, I rewatched it and could not determine if it was a bad call. That may not mean anything to a non-soccer fan, but trust me - I just gave the movie a huge compliment.There is absolutely no comparison to the soccer piece of crap in “The
Boys from Company C”.The score by Bill
Conti is above average.The theme
rolling over the credits is old school reminiscent of “The Dam Busters”
ilk.The music matches the scenes well
and rises to a crescendo in the match.
The
acting is much better than you would expect considering a large part of the
cast is not actors, including Sylvester Stallone.Seriously, Sly does some acceptable work
here.The role of a cocky American suits
him and he certainly plays soccer incompetent well.Caine is solid although way too old to play a
soccer player.The movie has eighteen
international soccer stars appearing on screen. Some are quite famous and this explains why the movie was a bigger hit overseas than in America.They do fine and it does not come off as just stunt casting.Pele is comfortable in front of the camera,
but none of the others embarrass themselves.Of course, it helps that they are on screen with Stallone.I have to specifically mention Werner Roth
who plays the German captain with verve.Roth is in the National Soccer Hall of Fame and was a key member of the
New York Cosmos back when teammate Pele was trying to bring soccer to America.Special mention has to go to the crowd at the
game.Aside from the anachronistic
clothing, they are as good as you could ask for.I am sure they were grateful that Stallone
was overruled when he insisted on scoring the winning goal.
Sly stopping a goal is infinitely more plausible than him scoring one
I
was pretty shocked to find that a basis for the story could be posited,
although it is unclear whether the screenwriters were aware of this.There is no claim that it is based on a true
story.The seed could have been the mythical
“Death Match” in the Ukraine in WWII.The FC Dynamo Kyiv played some matches against German military units during
the occupation.They were undefeated and
according to legend, after the last victory the team was arrested by the
Gestapo and they were executed.This
extreme version of the story has been refuted by modern scholarship, but when
the legend becomes fact, print the legend.
If
you were to read a summary of the plot, you would shake your head and you would
not green-light the production.Somehow it
works as light-weight entertainment.Parts of it are implausible, but nothing is laughable.It is not totally predictable and the end is
crowd-pleasing without being cloying.The
game is above average and we all know how hard it is to realistically act out
game action.But the best thing I can
say about it is repeat viewings have not made me question my sanity.Is it more entertaining than a World Cup
soccer match?Decide for yourself.
