It is possible to make a good sci-fi war movie, but it takes a big
budget. If you have a small budget, you
are screwed. That did not stop The
Asylum from trying to play off the success of “Battle: Los Angeles”.
That’s right, BLA got the mockbuster treatment. A “mockbuster” is a direct-to-DVD movie made
to capitalize on a major motion picture.
They usually have similar titles to fool rubes. Of course, The Asylum would argue that they
are simply giving fans more of what they liked in the original. Well, if you liked BLA, do not watch this
movie as a companion. It was directed,
written, and filmed by the auteur Mark Atkins (“6-Headed Shark Attack”) and
premiered on SyFy.
BoLA
starts off with the legend-based premise that UFOs attacked Los Angeles in
1942. Thank goodness this is not a
documentary, because they have returned in this movie. An alien spacecraft hovers over L.A. and four
F-16s attack it. One of the Falcons is
piloted by a female (Theresa June-Tao)).
She shoots down some ICBMs that the aliens have reprogrammed in flight! Is that possible? When the air base is wiped out, only a few
pilots escape cross country. They
encounter a F4U Corsair pilot named Rodgers (Dylan Vox) who is apparently from
1942 due to the Bermuda Triangle. They
need to get him to headquarters because he is the key to saving Earth. They encounter a robot made out of a trash
can and old car parts. Later, they are
chased by an alien craft until they are saved by a woman with a sword (Nia
Peeples – the star of the movie) who leaps on the craft and destroys it! To save Earth, a motley crew will need to
infiltrate the alien mother ship in a totally original plot development. But seriously, you have seen this before, but
never this incompetently done.
“Battle
of Los Angeles” would be one of the worst movies ever made if it was not for
the unintentional humor. There are some
truly hilarious moments to go along with all the head shaking ones. For instance, when their solution to
defeating the trash can robot involves pushing a car for about five
minutes. Mockbusters are not supposed to
be boring. But they are supposed to be
laughable. As with others of its ilk,
one must wonder if Mr. Atkins expected the movie to be taken seriously. I hope not.
If so, he is delusional and must worship Ed Wood. I don’t need to tell you that the acting is
abysmal (even Peeples) and the dialogue is atrocious. Sci-fi babel is thrown in for cred. The CGI is horrible. Atkins would have been better off with F-16
models on fishing line.
If
you decide to watch this movie, drink heavily and view it as a comedy.
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