Red Rose of Normandy (2011)

 

                    “Red Rose of Normandy” (also known as “Normandy” -  please don’t get fooled into seeing it twice) is a very low budget war movie set at the time of D-Day.  Klaudia (Claudia Crawford) is a French girl in love with Klaus (Tino Struckmann -  the director) who is a German officer, but a good one.  There is an evil Nazi named Brahms (Damian Chapa) who wants to come between them.  This meanders confusingly until the movie concludes with the invasion.

                    I hate to be too harsh on a movie that included the participation of veterans (which is why the extras look so old).  The movie also has a commendable pool of old weapons.  This includes one plane which actually drops bombs.  Something some epic movies can’t accomplish.  Unfortunately, the weapons are used for some of the worst combat you will ever see.  It looks like if your grandfathers decided to show you how they played army man when they were young.  The deaths are as bad as you can get.  Everyone shoots from the hip.  After the invasion, they keep moving inland because the old guys are just having too much fun.  You have to admire their sincerity.   But sincerity can’t overcome a ridiculous plot which has some laughable moments.  The acting is not terrible, but it ain’t good.  And we have to watch a lead actress that put her lipstick on with a paint brush.  The key word in the title is “red”.  You will have nightmares about those lips.  What comes out of those lips (and all the other ones) matches the quality of the movie.  We get lines like:  “Somebody kill that crazy kraut”.  But hey, if it wasn’t for the laughable dialogue, movies like this wouldn’t be fun to watch (and drink heavily to). 

                    I am not sure I have seen any movie in my entire life that has a lower rating on IMDb than this movie’s 2.6.  I know I have seen worse movies, but not many.

 

GRADE  =  F-