MACARONI COMBAT #6: A Place in Hell (1969)

 

               “A Place in Hell” is an Italian Macaroni War film set in WWII in the Pacific and starring the classic spaghetti warrior Guy Madison.  This one has a theme of war is a disease, so you can expect it to be deep and intellectual.  Madison plays Maj. Groves who happens to be a hard-drinking war correspondent.  He and a loose woman named Betsy are bar hopping in Manila when the Japanese begin bombing.  They escape in a boat piloted by a Marine.  He takes them to his island, but they find his unit slaughtered.  They rescue three captives. It is surprisingly easy to mow down the Japanese captors.  One of the captives is a convicted rapist/murderer who happens to be an anachronistic black Marine in need of redemption.  Later, they hook up with a British bloke named Rodney.  He has two native guides. One is a woman named Esperanza.  When Rodney asks him where they are headed, Groves responds with: “I’m like you, I’m on my way to hell.”  Spoiler alert:  So is this movie.  Rodney convinces the motley crew to participate in his suicide mission to destroy a secret radar installation.  If the Japanese get it up and running, they will conquer the Philippines.  But before any of that can happen, the group has to wander in the jungle and occasionally stop to talk.  In case you can’t tell the difference, the movie conveniently provides the same musical theme for the walking scenes.  Eventually, they reach the installation and we get the usual hip-shooting, machine-gunning of Japanese fodder.  Grenade pins are pulled with teeth.  The Japanese do not put up much of a fight.  But they do chase well.  Our intrepid survivors must overcome a climactic ambush which features the dastardly Japanese hiding under sand.  The complete surprise does not keep them from being slaughtered, of course.  But they do deprive Guy Madison of some of his cast mates.

               There is nothing noteworthy about this movie.  I am beginning to wonder if any Macaroni War movies are above average.  I would at least expect some campy verve.  Maybe some unintentional humor.  You get that only in the sand-hidden Japs scene and that’s a long way to go for a chuckle.  The performances are not laughable, they are just mediocre.  The combat does not make up for the long periods of boring marching and mumbling.  When the foes do come to blows, there is never any doubt who will win.  There is also little suspense in the mission because bizarrely, the Japanese are not able to figure out how to use the radar.  So, they don’t conquer the Philippines?  I had no idea I was watching historical revisionism!

 

GRADE  =  D