Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

 

                    In 2005, Ridley Scott was coming off the small-scale “Matchstick Men” and decided to return to an historical epic like his “Gladiator” and “Black Hawk Down”.  He returned to where he had filmed those two movies -  Morocco.  By this time he was good friends with King Mohamed VI who allowed 1,200 soldiers (mostly cavalry) to be used as extras.  Parts of the film were also filmed in Spain.  A lot of effort went into the film.  The replica of Jerusalem covered over 300,000 square feet with a front of 1,200 feet.  Two trebuchets were constructed which could hurl a 100-pound projectile over 1,300 feet.  Three siege towers were built with one being toppled for the film.  The original cut came in at over 190 minutes, but a poor test audience review resulted in 45 minutes being cut.  Scott disowned the theatrical release and later created a director’s cut that fleshed out several characters and added some scenes.  The Director’s Cut is the version I am reviewing here.

                    The movie is set about 100 years into the Crusades.  In a French village in 1184, the local blacksmith Balian (Orlando Bloom) is despondent over the suicide of his wife.  Because of this sin, she was doomed to Hell.  Soon after, a wizened Crusader named Godfrey (Liam Neeson) urges Balian to accompany him to Jerusalem where he may get a dispensation forgiving his wife.  After initially turning him down, Balian tags along and is given a five-minute fighting lesson that makes him Sir Lancelot.  He goes from the cinematically dark (get it?) medieval France to the bright lights of the (at that time) progressive Muslim world.  He’s a fish out of water who is very adept at learning how to navigate on land.  In the Holy City, Balian finds that there is a power struggle between the pious Marshal Tiberias (Jeremy Irons) who represents King Baldwin VI (Edward Norton playing a leper in a mask) and the Guy/Renald He-Man Muslim Hating Club.  Baldwin’s sister Sibylla (Eva Green) is married to the villainous Guy de Lusignan (Martin Csokas).  Guy is allied with the psychopathic Raynald (Brendan Gleeson). They share the desire to foment war with the Muslims by breaking the tenuous truce.  Since Balian is Godfrey’s son and looks like a hero (and in spite of his lack of a resume), his services are enlisted by Baldwin.  Since Guy is abusive and Sibylla is a feminist before her time, she naturally hooks up with Balian.  The sex is great and Balian would just as soon settle down to agriculture (which he is just as quick an expert in as swordsmanship), but he gets dragged into the war that Guy and Reynard provoke with Saladin.  It will be a rough time to be a Christian fighting on the wrong side, but Balian ends up leading the defense of Jerusalem during its siege.

                    “Kingdom of Heaven” is certainly epic in scale.  From the sands of the Sahara (in Palestine?) to the crowded streets of Jerusalem.  That set is awesome.  For Balian, it’s something of an odyssey.  He starts off a poor blacksmith and ends up de facto ruler of Jerusalem.  Along the way, he represents the religiously tolerant members of the audience as we open our minds to the positive aspects of Muslim culture.  And are introduced to the negative aspects of the Crusaders.  That’s one thread.  Then we have the romance between the saintly Balian and the shameless hussy Syblla.   Unfortunately, Bloom and Green have little chemistry and the romance is predictable.  It seems anachronistic with Balian being the sensitive type and Syblla being as non-medieval and non-Muslim as you can get for a woman.   Guy is a cinematic poster boy for cuckolding and duel-losing.  A third thread is the complicated political situation.  What should be gray is simply black versus white.  Guy and Raynard are cartoonish villains.  This is the kind of movie where the villains kill Saladin’s sister just in case there are any Crusader apologists in the audience.  And if you expect Guy to treat Saladin’s envoy with chivalry, you haven’t been paying attention.  He’s an infidel!

                      The movie has an outstanding cast, but several are wasted in one-dimensional roles.  This includes Bloom, who plays Saint Balian.  It’s an embarrassing performance.  The movie revolves around an unbelievable character.  Liam Neeson and Jeremy Irons bring the gravitas in virtually identical roles.  As far as Norton, I admire him for not wanting screen credit for his performance.  I would like to know how much he was paid to do nothing special, in a mask!  Also, who made the decision to put the best actor in a mask!  I guess the same guy who killed off three interesting side-kicks before Balian even reaches the Holy Land.  This will be a one man show.

                    Another thread is the warfare. There are three set piece battles.  First, the ambush blending shock with missiles.  While well-choreographed and visceral, it sets off alarms as a blacksmith is suddenly a skilled warrior.  There’s a suicide charge that gives us the “Braveheart” hacking melee required in an epic movie with swords.  The movie climaxes with the siege.  It was clearly influenced by the Battle of Helm’s Deep.  It starts realistically and escalates all the way to gonzo.  It’s not redundant as new and bigger weapons are introduced, but not used in the next stage.  For instance, the first night the city is bombarded with fire bombs, but not on the other nights.  It is a tutorial in extreme siege warfare.  Nothing happens that could not have happened, but no siege had all of it.  Much of what happens makes no sense tactically, but who’s going to notice?  It’s for entertainment purposes and sieges were boring in reality.

 

                    The movie has the feel of bad history, but it actually is fairly accurate (see below).  The script could not have been made in the 20^th Century.  No studio would have green-lit a movie sympathetic toward the Muslim side in the Crusades.  I imagine Muslim groups were concerned when they heard about the film, but they needn’t have worried.  If anything, the movie is tilted toward the Muslims (or Saracens as they are called in the movie).  As it should be, if you know your history.  The best character in the movie is Saladin (Ghassan Massoud looking like Bin Laden’s good twin).  The most commendable thing about the movie is the recognition this remarkable historical figure gets.  The movie tries to please all viewers by providing role models on both sides.  However, the only mustache-twirlers are on the Christian side.

                    The theatrical version was pilloried by critics, but most were impressed by Scott’s director’s cut.  The praise was overblown.  The added 45 minutes do flesh out the characters and better explain their motivations (see below), but that does not change the fact that the movie is mediocre.  Too many characters are either poorly conceived or ill-used.  It definitely fails as a biopic.  Balian reminds of Lawrence of Arabia, but without the warts and with better shampoo.  However, as an attempt to rectify the traditional view of the Crusades, Scott deserves some credit even though his take is too one-sided in putting all the blame on the Christians. But I support the replacement of Richard the Lionheart with Saladin as the face of the Crusades.

ADDED SCENES:

 -  It turns out the Priest (the underused Michael Sheen) who buried Balian’s wife, is Balian’s brother.

-  Godfrey is the brother of the local lord and it’s his nephew who leads the posse sent to arrest Balian, so this implies Godfrey’s death was inheritance related.

-  Balian is a blacksmith who also makes weapons which might have been used to explain his proficiency in their use.  However, he has to be instructed by Godfrey.

-  When he arrived in Jerusalem, Balian makes a trip to Calvary to establish his wife was saved and he is a true Christian even though he will be kissing some Muslim butt

-  Balian advises Baldwin on the defense of Jerusalem.  Even though the King has no reason to believe he has any talent in military strategy.

-  The movie gives more coverage to Syblla and her son.  It turns out that she poisoned him so he would not have to suffer from leprosy.  I bet the test audience nixed that.

-  The theatrical release did not have a ridiculous duel between Balain and Guy to bring the audience the full revenge it expects.  But since Balian is a saint, he lets Balian survive.  Hopefully not for a sequel.

GRADE  =  C

HISTORICAL ACCURACY:  There was a Balian, but he was not a blacksmith and he did not live in France.  He was the son of an important nobleman in the Crusader kingdoms.  He would have been 41 at the time of the start of the movie and he was married and with kids.  He was not the saint portrayed in the movie although he was a brave and noble warrior.  He maneuvered through the political maze with aplomb.  He would switch alliances when necessary.  He was allied with Raymond of Tripoli (Tiberias in the movie) and usually opposed to Guy and Raynald.  Raynald of Chatallon was accurately portrayed, although he may not have been insane.  He was basically a plunderer who attacked caravans and built a fleet to raid Muslim trade ports.  Guy de Lusignan was not so much allied with him as he was unable to contain him.  Guy apparently was not keen on war with Saladin, but did nothing to prevent it.  The raids did provoke Saladin in a way similar to shown in the movie.  There was no Battle of Kerak where Balian is defeated and Baldwin does not arrive immediately after and negotiate peace with Saladin. This did not remotely happen.  Once Saladin was provoked, it was on.  The story of his sister being killed in a caravan raid has been refuted, but it was believed for a long time. Guy was married to Syblla, but the marriage was a good one.  She knew Balian, but he was married and there is no hint of a relationship between the two.  King Baldwin was a leper, but he did not wear a mask.  His nephew did succeed him, but died one year later from leprosy.  There is no proof (or even conjecture) that Syblla euthanized him.  Syblla took over as Queen and surprised everyone by crowing Guy as co-ruler.     

 

The Battle of Hattin is handled well and it is understandable that the actual battle is not shown.  There is enough Crusader bashing in the movie as it is.  However, Balian was there.  He led the rearguard and convinced Guy to halt the doomed march and make a stand.  The army was wiped out, but all three survived.  The movie does a good job on the meeting of Saladin and Raynald and Guy.  He killed Raynald by beheading him, not cutting his throat.  He offered Guy some water and when Guy accepted, he came under the protection of hospitality.  Guy was imprisoned (he was not put on display outside Jerusalem) and freed after a year.  He went on to be King of Cyprus.  Balian escaped at Hattin.  He met with Saladin who allowed him to return to Jerusalem to evacuate his family, if he promised not to take up arms.  When Balian entered the city, Patriarch Heraclius and the Christian public begged Balian to lead the defense and Eraclius forgave him for violating his oath.  Saladin allowed Balian’s family to escape as he released Balian from his oath.  Balian did knight some burgesses and squires because he had few knights.  The siege is fairly close, although without all the bells and whistles.  The Saracens did not have trebuchets, but they had plenty of other siege engines (catapults, mangonels) that could pelt the city.  There were sorties against the siege towers that the movie foolishly leaves out.  The actual breach was created by a mine after Saladin shifted the assault to a less defensible area of the wall.  The assault through the breach was halted at first, but it was obvious the city was doomed.  Balian negotiated with Saladin, who insisted on unconditional surrender.  However, after Balian sincerely threatened to burn Muslim holy sites, kill their own Christian families, and kill all the Muslim slaves, Saladin relented and agreed to accept ransom for Christians.  As it was, there was not enough money to ransom all them, so the poor were enslaved.  But not slaughtered like when the Crusaders took Jerusalem.  Heraclius left with wagons full of church treasures.   

DUELING MOVIES: Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison (1957) vs. Father Goose (1964)

VS.

                “Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison” was based on a novel by Charles Shaw.  John Huston and John Lee Martin adapted the screenplay and Huston directed.  Huston and 20^th Century Fox envisioned it as a successor to “The African Queen”.  You’ll enjoy it more if you forget that.  It stars Robert Mitchum and Deborah Kerr.  It was the first of their four screen pairings.  They became good friends during the filming as Mitchum bonded with her when she would curse while wearing her nun costume.  She gamely put up with the drunken binges of her director and co-star.  She ended up being nominated for Best Actress.  Huston and Martin were nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay.  It was a screenplay that was vetted by the National Legion of Decency.  The Catholic Church also had a hand in monitoring the production to protect the image of its nuns.  The movie was filmed on Trinidad and Tobago. The actors to portray the Japanese-speaking soldiers had to be brought in from a Japanese community in Brazil. 

                The movie opens with a stranded Cpl. Allison (Mitchum) coming ashore on a little island in the Pacific.  There is a deserted village, but he meets a lone nun named Sister Angela (Kerr) who maintains the church.  What Allison hopes is an Adam and Eve scenario ends when the Japanese arrive and the duo goes into hiding.  Close proximity and the tension of being prey could lead to something.  If the Catholic Church was not on the set.

                “Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison” was a popular movie, but as a war movie it is nothing to get excited about.  It is more of a character study than a war film.  There is little suspense, even when Allison sneaks into the Japanese camp.  This is a shame as the situation should have lent itself to some edging to the front of your seat.  The movie is too busy toying with the “will they or won’t they?” question.  The leads do have a lot of chemistry and Mitchum and Kerr were great actors, but the moral restraints placed on the script hindered a realistic portrayal of two beautiful people marooned on an island.  Actually, Kerr’s Angela is an authentic character.  Or, what the Catholic Church would have us believe is a typical nun.  As far as Mitchum’s gyrene, we get a family-friendly leatherneck.  He is one of the more saintly Marines you will run into in a war movie.  (Maybe the Marine Corps was on set also.)  Mitchum’s dialogue sounds phony and the romantic arc is unrealistic.  It is rushed due to cinematic time constraints.  We go from “hey lady, get real” to “I never realized how attractive you are” to “let’s make the best of the situation” to “marry me” to “admit it, you want it too” to “I respect you” too patly.  The “supervision” of the film caused a watering down of the theme comparing the Marine Corps to the Catholic Church.  The biggest problem with “Heaven Knows” is that the plot makes little sense.  Specifically, the actions of the Japanese are unrealistic.  (For instance, the Japanese actually invade the island twice!) At least they speak with no subtitles and are not demonized.

                “Father Goose” was Cary Grant’s second-to-last screen role.  He turned down the role of Henry Higgins in “My Fair Lady” because he wanted to play against his usual suave characters and instead play a role that was close to his actual personality.  Apparently, the real Grant  liked to dress like a bum and yell at kids to get off his lawn.  The movie was directed by Ralph Nelson (“Soldier Blue”).  The screenplay was an adaptation of the short story “A Place of Dragons” by S.H. Barnett.  Peter Stone and Frank Tarloff won an Oscar for the screenplay.  The movie was nominated for Film Editing and Sound.  The song “Pass Me By” was not nominated but was later a hit for Peggy Lee and was recorded by Frank Sinatra and others.  The movie was filmed in Jamaica.  It was a big hit.

                The movie opens in early 1942 with the Japanese rampaging through the Southwest Pacific.  Walter Eckland (Grant) is a loner who couldn’t care less about the war effort.  He is “recruited” by Commander Broughton (Trevor Howard) of the Royal Australian Navy to be a coast watcher.  The curmudgeonly Eckland is more civilian than most civilians, but he is given no choice.  He is deposited on a deserted island with a radio.  To get him to file periodic reports, Broughton has hidden whiskey bottles and reveals their locations only upon receipt of the reports.  When he is sent to rescue another coast watcher, Eckland instead is saddled with a school teacher named Catherine (Leslie Caron) and her seven girl charges.  The situation is reminiscent of Felix Unger moving in with Oscar except that Felix is a woman and she brings teenage girls with him.  Eckland tops Oscar by being not only a slob, but also an asshole.  Naturally, “Mother Goose” (Eckland’s code name) gets along with “Goody Two Shoes” like an old mutt with a Persian cat.  Eckland hurls a lot of invective such as “you should carry a tambouring and put fig leaves on statues”.  Oh, snap!  These two have as much chance of falling in love as that old mutt and the Persian cat.  Unless this is a movie.

                “Father Goose” is fluff, but it is well done fluff.  The confection has one prime ingredient – Cary Grant.  He has fun playing against type and Caron is an excellent foil.  They have chemistry and this makes the absolutely predictable romance watchable.  Like “Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison”, the romantic arc is too rushed, but hell, there’s a war going on.  In most ways, the movie is more of a romantic comedy than a war movie.  As far as the comedy part, the movie is fairly amusing.  Grant gets some funny lines (he had his writers on call), as does Howard.  Although it co-stars the venerable war movie stalwart Howard, his Boughton is mainly there to facilitate the comedy.  He seems to have had fun as well.  It’s not often you get to top a Cary Grant character.  His character is the key to making the movie above average.  For a comedy, it is surprisingly more suspenseful than “Heaven Knows”.  You’re not going to lose sleep, mind you.  Another surprise is that it actually has more of an “The African Queen” vibe than the other movie.  The two main characters are much closer to Charlie and Rose than Allison and Angela are.  Speaking of which, although the script is competent, it hardly deserved an Oscar.  (It beat out “Hard Day’s Night”!)  “The African Queen” was only nominated.

                Both movies are better as movies than war movies.  However, “Father Goose” is more entertaining and less unrealistic in its handling of an unrealistic situation.  At least, there were coast watchers that served in the Pacific.  I wouldn’t say that the movie honors them, however.  “Father Goose” is just more comfortable in the romantic comedy genre than “Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison” is in the romantic genre.  “Heaven Knows” was crippled by the production code and the blue noses and clergymen who scrutinized it.  It also fumbled the trapped scenario.  The two are very much of their times, but “Father Goose” would fit well into today’s rom-com environment.  “Heaven Knows” is too uptight to find a modern audience. 

GRADES:  Heaven Knows  =  C-

                  Father Goose  =  B-