CLASSIC or ANTIQUE? “Battle Circus” (1953)

 

                “Battle Circus” is a Korean War movie released in 1953.  It was written and directed by Richard Brooks (“Take the High Ground”).  The movie is about a MASH unit and was originally entitled “MASH 66”.  The studio worried people would think it was about potatoes.  Instead a title was developed that reflected the circus atmosphere and tents of a Mobile Hospital.  The technical adviser had operated a MASH unit in Korea so the operation was accurate.  Humphrey Bogart was paid $250,000, but that princely sum did not keep him from regretting making the film.  The fact that he burned his thumb during a scene where he destroys papers before a retreat did not increase his enthusiasm.  The scene was left in the film.  At least he got decent reviews.  His co-star June Allyson was lambasted by the press.  So much for broadening her resume beyond “the girl next door”.

                “Battle Circus” is a “story about the indominable human spirit…”  It is set in an unspecified part of the Korean War, but based on the constant bugging out it would seem to be the first year.  The set looks like a MASH unit.  In other words, you’ll recognize “MASH” the movie and TV show.  There are the iconic tents and the helicopters bringing in the wounded (the movie was partly filmed at Camp Pickett, Virginia where the MASH units were trained).  We are introduced to the dangers of military medical care through a ridiculous strafing attack on the unit.  Using actual footage – of a USAF F-86!  Apparently the director did not give a crap about our intelligence level.  By the way, I would be surprised if there were any MIG strafings of hospitals in the entire war.

June finds out her make-up kit was left behind

                A cherry nurse arrives named Ruth (Allyson).  The hard drinking surgeon Maj. Webbe (Bogart) takes an immediate lusting for her.  They immediately begin the Hollywood process of hooking up.  This involves embarrassing pick-up lines by Webbe that would have Hawkeye Pierce gagging.  Plus Webbe is about as subtle as a kick in the stomach.  Ruth is very protective of her female virtue – for about five minutes.  That’s how long it takes the wolf in scrubs to get her to lower her surgical mask.  Soon she is the aggressor and madly (as in insanely) in love with him.

                It’s not all love in war.  Webbe saves a little Korean boys life by performing open heart surgery.  He is an ace surgeon and an ace drunk.  His drinking gets him in trouble with his superior.  In the obligatory carpet calling confrontation, Webbe makes a bizarrely contemporary comment about the “three world wars in our lifetime”.  How did I miss one?  I assume the screenwriters are referring to the Cold War as WWIII, but I thought that was only a recent bit of historical revisionism. 

looks just like a real war photo, doesn't it?

                Allyson gets to show off her serious acting chops (or lack thereof) in a silly scene where she talks down an enemy prisoner welding a grenade during an operation.  There are no subtitles but I’m pretty sure he is upset with the romance.  It appears that this naïve newbie has developed into a battle-hardened caregiver.  The movie closes with one last bug-out as the unit has to escape through enemy lines under artillery fire.  The nurses get separated from the doctors.  I mean Bogart gets separated from Allyson.  Will they have a loving reunion?  You’ll have to watch the movie.

listen kid, I can get my make-up guy to
make you look like you're in a war,too

                This is a strange movie.  It is part sappy romance and part realistic depiction of the workings of a MASH unit.  The look of the unit is real and the activities seem authentic.  The bug-outs are appropriate for that stage of the war.  The use of helicopters is well done.  All this effort is diluted by the romance half.  It would be like MASH bombing in the comedy sphere.  The two leads have little chemistry.  Bogart looks too old for the role.  Their dialogue is cringe-worthy.  No couple talks like that in real life.  Plus the arc of the romance defies reality.  Ruth goes from skeptical to stalking in the bat of an eyelash.  Of course, the actors are not helped by the script.  There is a painful scene where they wallow in a mud puddle.  Hilarious not.  This is the only time in the film that Allyson is not well-dressed, well-made up, amd well-coiffed.  At least the doctors sweat a little in the operating room.

                In spite of my carping, the movie is not that bad.  Aside from the elephantine cliché of a romance, the movie has some interesting twists.  The enemy is not demonized.  The movie is nurse-centric as oppsed to concentrating on the male doctors.  The film does a good job commemorating the role of the MASH units.

                Classic or antique?  Neither.

grade =  C 

#33 - M*A*S*H (1970)

BACK-STORY:  “M*A*S*H” is a Robert Altman film released in 1970.  It is loosely based on the novel by Richard Hooker.  The screenplay was by ex-blacklistee Ring Lardner, Jr.  He was upset with the liberties (ex. improvisations) Altman took with the script, but still accepted the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay.  Lardner was not the only one upset with Altman.  Donald Sutherland and Elliot Gould tried to get him fired because they did not like his gonzo directing style.  Altman also had trouble with the suits.  They wanted him to take out the graphic operation visuals, but backed down partly because they were distracted by their two big projects – “Patton” and “Tora! Tora! Tora!”.  The studio did succeed in insisting on references to the Korean War be inserted into the film so noone would mistake it for Vietnam.  Mission not accomplished.  14 of the top 30 actors were making their movie debuts.  The film was a smash hit as it tapped into the iconoclastic mood of the early 70s.  It was nominated for five Academy Awards (Picture, Director, Screenplay, Editing, and Supporting Actress – Sally Kellerman).  It won the Golden Globe for Best Comedy or Musical.  It won the Palme D’Or at Cannes.  It is #54 on the AFI list of all movies and #7 on the Comedy list.

OPENING:  The movie opens with “Suicide is Painless” as helicopters bring wounded in.  (The song’s lyrics were written by Altman’s fourteen year old son and he made over $1 million in royalties.  His father made $75,000 for the film.)  There are quotes from MacArthur and President Eisenhower to tell us it’s the Korean War.  Hawkeye  (Sutherland) and Duke (Tom Skerritt) are new surgeons who “borrow” a jeep to establish themselves as anti-heroes.  They arrive at the 4077 Mobile Army Surgical Hospital and immediately start rocking the boat and flirting with the nurses.

SUMMARY:  Hawkeye and Duke are assigned to a tent with Maj. Burns (Robert Duvall).  He is tutoring a Korean boy named Ho-Jon on the Bible.  Burns comes off as a Jesus freak which is like waving a red cape in front of Hawkeye and Duke.  They substitute a girlie magazine for the Bible and change Ho-Jon’s life.  Even worse, Burns does not drink!  He’s got to go.

                The first trip to the operating room is graphic, bloody (as in spurting from an artery), and realistic.  It turns out that Hawkeye and Duke may be reluctant soldiers, but they are excellent doctors (unlike Burns).  When a patient is ready to be stitched up, one of the other doctors says to “make the stitches bigger” because he’s just an enlisted man.  The movie is more anti-military than anti-war.

                Trapper John (Gould) arrives (with olives for their martinis) and now it’s a trio of frat boys.  Also arriving is Maj. Houlihan (Sally Kellerman) who turns out to be a no-nonsense head of nurses who is proudly regular army.  Naturally, she hooks up with the other lifer – Maj. Burns.  Their first sexual encounter is broadcast to the camp via a hidden microphone and earns Houlihan the nickname “Hot Lips”.  Subsequently, Hawkeye goads Burns into swinging at him and he is discharged in a strait-jacket.   Score one for the atheistic misanthropes.

The Last Supper

                The next episode revolves around the dentist “Painless Pole” (John Schuck) who wants to end it all because he has discovered that he is a “fairy” because he could not “perform” last time out (or in).  Altman stages Painless' last supper as “The Last Supper”.  They even break bread.  It’s a really cool visual and surprisingly not overtly anti-religion.  Painless takes the “black capsule”,  but he is “revived” by nurse “Dish” (Jo Ann Pflug). 

waiting for Hot Lips to reveal her true color

                A bet about whether Hot Lip’s carpet matches her drapes results in the famous shower scene where she is humiliated in front of the whole camp, including her nurses.  By the way, although Duke wins the bet, she falls to the floor so quickly noone could have been able to tell.  (I should know -  I rewound the segment twenty times to be sure.)  Houlihan confronts Col. Blake (Roger Bowen) and yells “this is not a hospital, it’s an insane asylum!”  In spite of this, Hot Lips loosens up and even starts an affair with Duke.  This character development makes no sense.

                Hawkeye and Trapper John make a trip to Japan as “the pros from Dover” to play golf.  Oh, and they also operate on a Senator’s son while they are there.  Of course they step on the toes of the hospital administrator (representing the studio heads?), but he backs off after they drug him and take blackmailing pictures of him with a naked Japanese woman.  In this movie it is acceptable to humiliate people if they are incompetent squares. 

Hawkeye, a flunky, and Trapper John

                Blake makes a bet with a general about the outcome of a football game between the MASH unit and the general’s team.  The scenario is reminiscent of “The Longest Yard”.  They bring in a neurosurgeon who played in the NFL as their ringer.  He is nicknamed “Spearchucker” (groan) and is played by ex-NFLer Fred Williamson.  The game is a good climax for the film.  There is a lot of slapstick and silliness  Some of it comes from Hot Lips who is now completely on the side of the boys who humiliated her.  (Duke must be a great lover.)  Schuck ad-libbed the first use of the word “fuck” in a major motion picture.  (“All right, Bud, this time your fucking head is coming off”.)   They win the game using the old "center eligible, hidden ball” trick.

CLOSING:  Duke and Hawkeye go home.  Pretty anticlimactic – just like the Korean War.

RATINGS: 

Acting -  A

Action -  N/A

Accuracy -  A

Realism -  B

Plot -  B-

Overall – B+

WOULD CHICKS DIG IT?     The movie is pretty sexist in its depiction of the nurses.  The doctors do not have much trouble seducing them.  Although this may have been realistic, it still could be off-putting.  It’s not your typical adrenaline fueled war movie.  The operating room scenes are not for the squeemish.

ACCURACY:  The movie does not purport to be a true story, but the novel is semi –autobiographical so we can assume the operating room scenes are authentic.  The episodes (ex. the football game, the trip to Japan) seem made up.  The movie conforms to the book for the most part.  All of the major episodes are in the book, but improved upon in my opinion.  For instance, Painless Pole is suffering from a periodic bout of depression and does not have sex with a nurse to cure it.  The movie also leaves out some of the weaker parts of the book so it is superior to its source.  In the book, the trio are meaner drunks than in the movie.

CRITIQUE:  MASH is a movie that defies conventions.  It mixes realism with dark humor.  Much of the dialogue was improvised which you would not realize by watching the movie.  Altman likes to overlap the dialogue, especially in the operating scenes.  This makes the movie seem more intelligent than it is.  The cinematography is also noteworthy.  Altman uses a lot of fly on the wall shots.  Some of these shots are long range and static.  This is seen best in the “Last Supper” scene.  We are put in the middle of the action in the operating room scenes.  Action and dialogue swirl around the viewer.   

                The movie made a big splash with the Vietnam anti-war movement, but there is little in the dialogue that criticizes war.  The movie is definitely anti-war in the operating room simply because the audience gets to see the results of combat.  The insanity of war does come through.  For the most part it is more of an anti-military film.  All the negative characters are loyal to the Army and want to follow its rules.  A corollary to that is the anti-authority theme.  Most of the authority figures are incompetent and deserve to be taken down.  Perhaps not surprisingly,  Altman does not give the trio a competent foil.  Contrast this with Col. Potter in the TV series.  On the other hand, Hawkeye, Trapper John, and Duke are anti-heroes typical of 70s counterculture flicks.  As a teacher (and not an incompetent one), I have had students like them and they are much more fun on a movie screen than in a classroom. 

                The movie is episodic in structure.  Altman arrived at the loudspeaker announcements as bridges to the new episode.  This device works, but the announcements are overrated as humor.  Speaking of humor, the movie does have some great one-liners.  However, much of the humor is crass and mean.  Some it would be considered politically incorrect today.  You have characters named “Spearchucker” and “Dago Red” and a scenario where a dentist would rather be dead than gay.  The movie is also anti-religion, but Father Mulcahy (Rene Auberjonois) comes off well.  He even gets the best line.  When Hot Lips asks rhetorically (about Hawkeye): "I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps."  Mulcahy dead-pans:  "He was drafted".

               Many war movies would be better if remade because of the lowered constraints on language and violence.  This movie is not one of them.  It is perfect for its time.

CONCLUSION:   M*A*S*H is a unique movie.  MASH is one of the great war comedies and an important one.  It may be second only to “Dr. Strangelove”.  It certainly was unlike any other war comedy made before it.  There are few war movies that concentrate on military medicine, much less of the dark humor variety.  (Interestingly, there is another Korean War movie set in a military hospital – “Battle Circus” (1953).  I have not seen it yet but I’m betting there’s a generation between them.)  I have to say I think "MASH" is overrated.  The Vietnam War generation is very protective of it.  It does have some good lines and some moments of genuine humor, but to be ranked #7 on AFIs list of the best comedies of all time is ridiculous.  However, it is a movie that has filled a niche that needed to be filled and we should honor it for that. 

POSTER:  The poster is cool, but a little misleading.  The legs give you the impression there will be a lot of skin in the movie and there is not.  The peace sign implies that the movie is anti-war which it really isn't. A middle finger would have been much more appropriate.  The blurbs are your typical hyperbole.  B-

the trailer

TRAILER -  It does include some of the best lines.  You get a feel for the anarchic nature of the film.  I feel sorry for Duke when the trailer mentions "two doctors".  The football game footage is thrown in with no context which is confusing.  Of course it makes a big deal of the marijuana smoking during the game.  Note that the trailer includes the word "tits".  Surely a first.  B-

  

SEMIFINALS

DR.  STRANGELOVE (1) vs. 
GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM (6)

FIRST HALF: PLOT


        “Dr. Strangelove” begins with an insane general sending a flight of B-52s to drop nuclear bombs on the Soviet Union. The rest of the plot involves the attempts of the two leaders to avoid nuclear war and the attempt of one bomber to complete its mission. The movie shifts from scenes on the bomber to scenes in the War Room. A subplot involves an assault on the rogue general’s base to recover the recall codes. The tone shifts from suspensefully claustrophobic on the bomber to farcical discussion in the War Room. The taking of the base has the look of news footage from Vietnam. The plot flows well and builds to a satirical crescendo.

        “Good Morning. Vietnam” begins with the arrival of Cronauer in Saigon. He immediately starts rocking the boat at the radio station and butting heads with the old school leadership. Meanwhile, Cronauer falls in lust with a Vietnamese girl and takes over an English class to get to know her. He also gets to know her brother who turns out to be a Viet Cong agent. The plot shifts back and forth from the romance to the dysfunctional station. The plot is inconsistent because the romance and the other serious moments pale compared to Williams’ manic radio performances. Kudos to the film for not having a happy ending to the radio stint or the romance.

First half score: Strangelove - 48 GMV - 38

SECOND HALF: LINES

The second half will consist of comparing memorable quotes showcased on IMDB.

Strangelove

Ripper: I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.


Turgidson: Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks.


Muffley: Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room. (#64 on AFIs greatest movie quotes)


Sadetsky: There were those of us who fought against it, but in the end we could not keep up with the expense involved in the arms race, the space race, and the peace race. At the same time our people grumbled for more nylons and washing machines. Our doomsday scheme cost us just a small fraction of what we had been spending on defense in a single year. The deciding factor was when we learned that your country was working along similar lines, and we were afraid of a doomsday gap.


Strangelove: Mein Führer! I can walk!


Turgidson: Mr. President, we must not allow a mineshaft gap!


Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

Total: 47

“Good Morning, Vietnam”

Cronauer: I just want to begin by saying to Roosevelt E. Roosevelt, what it is, what it shall be, what it was. The weather out there today is hot and shitty with continued hot and shitty in the afternoon. Tomorrow a chance of continued crappy with a pissy weather front coming down from the north. Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.


Cronauer: Goooooooood morning, Vietnam! Hey, this is not a test! This is rock and roll! Time to rock it from the Delta to the D.M.Z.!


Cronauer: Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.


Cronauer: The Mississippi River broke through a protective dike today. What is a protective dike? Is it a large woman that says "Don't go near there! But Betty- Don't go near there! Don't go down by the river!"... No, we can't say "dyke" on the air, we can't even say "lesbian" anymore, it's "women in comfortable shoes. Thank You."


Cronauer: Here's a news flash: Today President Lyndon Johnson passed a highway beautification bill. The bill basically said that his daughters could not drive in a convertible on public highways.


Cronauer: What is the difference between the Cub Scouts and the military? Bzzzzzt! Cub Scouts don't have heavy artillery!

Total: 57

      When it comes to memorable lines, Strangelove has the quality and GMV has the quantity.

Second half score: Strangelove - 46 GMV - 42

ANALYSIS:

       “Strangelove” wins mainly based on a superior plot. The three part structure works well and is a blend of action and humor. The tone shifts are not whiplashing. GMV’s plot is more problematical. The love story seems to serve the purpose of getting Cronauer out of the station and giving Williams a chance to show off his acting. A trip into the jungle is just silly. As far as memorable lines: the GMV lines are memorable because they are funny, the Strangelove lines are famous.

FINAL SCORE:


Dr. Strangelove - 94


Good Morning, Vietnam - 80


MASH (6) vs. TROPIC THUNDER (13)

FIRST HALF: PLOT

        MASH begins with the arrival of Hawkeye at the hospital. The rest of the movie is basically a series of vignettes leading up to the football game. The scenes include the suicide of “Painless”, the exposure of “Hot Lips”, the trip to Japan by Hawkeye and Trapper John. The structure works and fits a film about the ebb and flow of a surgical hospital in a time of war.

        Tropic Thunder begins with the shooting of a Platoonesque scene. The first part of the movie deals with problems with the production of the film. The movie then shifts into the jungle for a dysfunctional trek by the main actors. It concludes with the “assault” on the drug camp which is full of gunfire and explosions.

First half score: MASH - 43 Tropic Thunder - 45

SECOND HALF: LINES

MASH

Trapper: Watch out for your goodies, Hawkeye. That man is a sex maniac; I don't think Hot Lips satisfied him. Don't let him kiss you, Hawkeye.


Hot Lips: I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps.
Father Mulcahy: He was drafted.


P.A. Announcer: Attention. Attention. Friday night's movie will be The Glory Brigade. Rock'em sock'em kisses you never got. It's Uncle Sam's combat engineers charging side by side with Greek hand bags. Showing the world a new way to fight as they use bulldozers like bazookas, bayonnets like bazook - bullets. Starring Victor Mature. That is all.


Gen. Hammond: Henry, I have some reports here from your Major O'Houlihan that I frankly find hard to believe.


Colonel Blake: Well, don't believe them then, General. Good-bye. [hangs up]

Trapper John: Look, mother, I want to go to work in one hour. We are the Pros from Dover and we figure to crack this kid's chest and get out to golf course before it gets dark. So you go find the gas-passer and you have him pre-medicate this patient. Then bring me the latest pictures on him. The ones we saw must be 48 hours old by now. Then call the kitchen and have them rustle us up some lunch.


Frank Burns: I don't drink.
Hawkeye Pierce: Jesus Christ, I think he means it.

Total – 87

Tropic Thunder

Kirk Lazarus: I don't read the script. The script reads me.


Tugg Speedman: [as Simple Jack] Goodbye mama, now you can have ice cream in heavan! I'll see you again tonight when I go to bed in my head movies. But this head movie makes my eyes rain!


Lazurus: Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. They found me in an alley in Burbank trying to re-enter the earth's atmosphere in an old refrigerator box.


Alpa Chino: That's the theme song for the Jeffersons!
Kirk Lazarus: Man, just cause it's a theme song don't make it not true.


Lazarus: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho'. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. Peter Sellers, "Being There." Infantile, yes. Retarded, no. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, "I Am Sam." Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed...


Lazarus: I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!


Grossman: Cockburn, from now on my fist is going to be so far up your shithole that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring...


Tayback: In the Winter of 1969, an elite force of the US Army was sent on a top secret assignment in Southeast Vietnam. The objective: rescue Sgt. Four Leaf Tayback from a heavily guarded NVA Prison Camp. The mission was considered to be near-suicide. Of the ten men sent, four returned. Of those four, three wrote books about what happened. Of those three, two were published. And of those two, only one got a movie deal. This is the story of the men who attempted to make that movie.


Kevin Sandusky: [to Jeff] I got a baaaad feeling on this one there, Fats.
Jeff Portnoy: [as Fats] Our asses don't get fragged in this bullshit valley, first thing I'm doin' is payin' my two bucks so I can watch Brooklyn bust his cherry on a sweet little mama son's dinky-down poon-tang!


Lazarus: And the Oscar goes to. Yes! Tugg Speedman for "Tropic Blunder: The True Story Behind The Making Of The Most Expensive Fake True War Movie Ever"

Total: 102

       TT has the quantity. As far as quality, it depends on your sense of humor. MASH’s lines are PG-13 (some would have been edgy for the 1970s) and Tropic Thunder’s are definitely R. Personally, I find the TT lines much more hilarious.

Second half score: MASH - 38 Tropic Thunder - 45

ANALYSIS:

       This is a battle between 1970s humor and recent humor. Both plots serve their films well. MASH is more episodic and Tropic Thunder has a more traditional structure. As far as the comedic lines, MASH is more subtle as the movie is more situational humor and obviously the situation is more serious. It’s hard to play surgery for laughs. Tropic Thunder has no restrictions and absolutely pushes the envelope. The jokes are unceasing and often crass, but a good bit of them are satirical and not simply aimed at a cheap laugh (and then there are quite a few that are).

FINAL SCORE:


Tropic Thunder - 90


MASH - 81

MARCH MADNESS: QUARTERFINALS

Dr. Strangelove (1) vs. Duck Soup (3)


FIRST HALF: CHARACTERS

        “Dr. Strangelove” has one insane character – Gen. Ripper. He is upset that fluoridation is harming our “precious bodily fluids”. He sends a flight of B-52 bombers to bomb the Soviet Union. Gen. Turgidson is a Curtis Lemay type jingoist who wants to win a nuclear war. Dr. Strangelove is a Werner Von Braun type of ex-Nazi scientist who has trouble remembering that the President is not der Fuhrer. The rest of the characters are normal people thrust into abnormal situations.

      “Duck Soup” has three outlandish characters. Groucho plays the President Rufus T. Firefly as an insult hurling cad. Chico plays Chicolini as a punning imbecile. Harpo plays Pinky as a adult brat. In other words, the same characters they always play. The other characters are all stock. The real standout is Zeppo as Bob Roland. What an incredibly complex character. Just kidding.

First half score: Strangelove - 46 Duck Soup - 40

SECOND HALF: SATIRE

        “Dr. Strangelove” is considered to be one of the great satires of war and nuclear war in particular. It was so cutting that some conservatives accused it of being leftist in its condemnation of Mutually Assured Destruction. The debates in the War Room on how to handle a nuclear crisis are hilariously chilling because they anticipate the insanity of an actual crisis.

        Surprisingly, “Duck Soup” has a similar theme: how a crisis can escalate into full-blown war. Of course it takes a different path to get to the explosions. The overall satirical theme is exploited for silly wordplay, sight gags, and slapstick, but in all the frantic action the point is made in a bludgeoning sort of way. Where “Strangelove” is Aristophanesesque, “Duck Soup” would make Plautus proud.

Second half score: Strangelove - 50 Duck Soup - 38

ANALYSIS:

        You will laugh more at “Duck Soup”, but that does not make it a better comedy. The characters are stronger in “Strangelove” and the satire is sharper. They are very much of their time period. “Strangelove” could not have been made in the 1930s and “Duck Soup” would have flopped in the 1960s. Neither would do well today. Most moviegoers are not smart enough to get satire like “Strangelove” (note the performance of “In the Loop”) and people do not want messages with their silliness as in “Duck Soup”.

FINAL SCORE:


DR. STRANGELOVE - 96


DUCK SOUP - 78


MISTER ROBERTS (5) vs. GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM (7)

FIRST HALF: CHARACTERS

      “Mister Roberts” has four main characters. Roberts is the noble warrior wannabe who cares for the crew and battles with the captain on their behalf. The captain is an incompetent martinet. The Doc is wise. Ensign Pulver is comic relief as the wolf in sheep’s clothing. The rest of the crew are comfortable stereotypes. Although all the main characters have been seen before, they fit the plot perfectly.

      “Good Morning, Vietnam” has one amazing character – Cronauer. Of course, the character is actually Robin Williams playing himself, so a lot depends on if you like his schtick. Tuan is an interesting character as the Viet Cong friend. He puts a sympathetic face to the enemy. Hauk is crucial as the humor-impaired superior. Dickerman (the station manager) is a cliché of the villainous, stick in the mud officer (excuse me, non-com). The most unorthodox character is General Taylor who is not portrayed as incompetent or hide-bound. He is refreshingly open to Cronauer’s antics because it boosts morale.

First half score: Mr. Roberts - 42 Good Morning, Vietnam - 40

SECOND HALF: SATIRE

       “Mister Roberts” is not really a satire, it is more of a service comedy. There is some satire of the officer class, but it is subtle and obvious. No new ground is broken, but that was not the intention of the movie. The movie does not make you squirm and it has no message to convey. It is meant to entertain and does that admirably.

      “Good Morning, Vietnam” is not purely a satire, but it definitely has satirical elements. It has a martinet, old school superior (Dickerson) similar to the Captain in “Roberts”. We’ll call that a tie. GMV goes beyond MR by satirizing conservatives versus liberals and pro-war versus anti-war. Of course, the movie is clearly liberal and anti-war. When it’s not masquerading as a Williams’ stand-up act, it has some shots to take at the War, but I think most of its audience did not leave the theater thinking they had seen a satire.

Second half score: Mr. Roberts – 32 Good Morning, Vietnam - 35

ANALYSIS:

This was a tough call. The movies are so different and both do their job well. Their main characters are equally strong. It comes down to the fact that GMV is funnier than MR and has more to say about the military and war. It is not necessarily a better film, it is simply a better war comedy.

FINAL SCORE:


GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM - 75


MR. ROBERTS - 74



STRIPES (8) vs. MASH (6)

FIRST HALF: CHARACTERS

       “Stripes” revolves around two screw-ups who do not adjust well to the Army. Winger (Murray) is a glib troublemaker and Ziskey (Ramis) is his smug straight-man. They remind me of Hope and Crosby. The rest of the unit are your typical heterogeously humorous mixture – the hick, the psycho, the jolly fat guy, etc. Capt. Stillman is from the officers are incompetent buffoons school. No extra points there. Sgt. Hulka is your typical Hollywood drill sergeant, but the movie deserves credit for pulling a character from a serious war movie (e.g., “Full Metal Jacket”) and not making him comical.

       “MASH” has more well developed characters. Hawkeye, Trapper John, and Duke are similar in their anti-military attitudes to Winger. The supporting characters are better developed than in “Stripes”. Major Burns and “Hot Lips” are good foils for the trio. Father Mulcahy, Lt. Col. Blake, and Radar are not as strong as in the TV series, but make more of an impression than most of Winger’s comrades.

First half score: MASH - 46 Stripes – 40

SECOND HALF: SATIRE


       “Stripes” is not a satirical film. It is mainly aimed at 14 year old boys and that audience is not known for getting satire. “Stripes” is low-brow humor and it is undeniably entertaining, but it has no important message to convey. With that said, it does poke fun at boot camp and incompetent officers. It also features an armored, multi-weapon RV designed for urban warfare. It is doubtful that the screenwriters meant that to be criticism of the Army’s Research and Development, however.

       “MASH” is a satirical, dark comedy. It is clearly anti-military. All the “positive” characters are unhappy with rules and regulations. All the “negative” characters (Burns, Hot Lips) are military toadies. The movie treats the Army apologists brutally. The movie uses the setting of a military hospital to criticize the insanity of war. The darkness is a deep shade of red.

Second half score: MASH - 45 Stripes - 33

ANALYSIS:

      You can argue that “Stripes” is a funnier movie. Of course, that depends a lot on your tolerance for Bill Murray. However, this tournament is to determine the “best” war comedy, not necessarily the funniest. It is clear that “MASH” is a better movie. It is a more important movie and that deserves some consideration. The makers of “Stripes” would probably admit that they had no message to deliver and were not trying to make the greatest war comedy of all time.

FINAL SCORE:


MASH - 91


STRIPES - 73


TO BE OR NOT TO BE (2) vs. TROPIC THUNDER (13)

FIRST HALF: CHARACTERS


       “To Be Or Not To Be” has a variety of interesting characters. Josef Tura stands out as the hammy actor. His wife Maria is not exactly loyal to him, but she is bravely helping the Resistance. Sobinski is a bit boring as the Maria-infatuated pilot. Ehrhardt is the buffoonish Gestapo commander. Silitsky is appropriately slimy as the traitor.

       “Tropic Thunder” goes over the top with most of its characters. Speedman is the action star who is trying to revive his stalled career and is full of actor insecurities. Lazarus is the method actor who immerses himself in his role to the point of getting his skin tinted. Portnoy is the drug addicted funny man. The list goes on. Virtually every role is a parody.

First half score: To Be or Not to Be - 42 Tropic Thunder - 47

SECOND HALF: SATIRE

       “To Be or Not to Be” satirizes acting troupes and Nazis. That’s an odd combination, but it works well. Benny’s Tura pokes fun at many leading men and their enormous egos. His marriage to Maria is a satire of Hollywood marriages. The movie daringly makes fun of Nazis at a time when the Germans dominated Europe. It makes them malevolent, yet laughable.

       “Tropic Thunder” is a biting satire of actors also. It takes on several stereotypes as mentioned in the character section above. It paints with broad strokes, but there must have been some actors squirming when they watched it (I’m talking to you Schwarzenegger/Willis/Stallone and Crowe/Day-Lewis). The movie also brilliantly satirizes war movies, in particular Vietnam War movies like “Platoon” and “Apocalypse Now”.

Second half score: To Be or Not to Be - 44 Tropic Thunder - 48

ANALYSIS:

       This is a battle between old school satire and modern satire. “To Be or Not to Be” was actually controversial when it came out. That is hard to believe today. It appears pretty tame compared to recent satires. In comparison, “Tropic Thunder” is the most recent film in the tournament. My how far war satire has come! Your opinion on which of these movies is a better comedy will tell a lot about your sense of humor and your age. In my opinion, the characters in TT are hilariously outlandish and that is acceptable in a satire. In addition, TT is the best (only?) satire of war movies and the skewering of sacred Vietnam War movies is spot on.

FINAL SCORE:


TROPIC THUNDER - 96


TO BE OR NOT TO BE - 86

MASH (6) vs. Kelly's Heroes (11)

BACKGROUND:



          MASH is a satirical/dark comedy set in the Korean War. It was released in 1970 and is obviously satirizing the Vietnam War. Most of the action takes place in a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital and the stars are a trio of very talented doctors who are very reluctant conscripted warriors. Hawkeye (Donald Sutherland), Duke (Tom Skerritt), and Trapper John (Elliot Gould) rock the boat on arrival with their insubordinate attitudes, womanizing, and drinking. They take on the regular Army in the guise of fundamentalist Maj. Burns (Robert Duval) and career rule-follower “Hot Lips” Houlihan (Sally Kellerman). The film is episodic and concludes with a football game reminiscent of “The Longest Yard”.

         “Kelly’s Heroes” came out the same year as MASH. It is an action comedy set in the closing stages of WWII. Kelly (Clint Eastwood) finds out about a bank behind enemy lines with millions of dollars worth of gold bars. He recruits a squad led by “Big Joe” (Telly Savalas). They need armored support so they hook up with three Shermans crewed by hippies led by “Oddball” (Donald Sutherland). Things don’t go smoothly, naturally. Maj. Gen. Colt (Carroll O’Connor) thinks the mission is a breakthrough and gets involved. The squad reaches the town with the bank and have to deal with a garrison and three Tiger tanks.


FIRST HALF: ACTING


        MASH has an outstanding cast. Sutherland and Gould were at their counter-culture peaks. Kellerman got a Best Supporting Actress nod. The rest of the supporting cast is strong. The episodic nature allows several actors to make an impression.  Surprisingly, the best actor (Duval) is not given much screen time.

        “Kelly’s Heroes” has the distinction of being one of the best casted war movies of all time. Each of the main roles is given to an actor who you can argue was perfect for the role. Who would have made a better Kelly than Eastwood? Who better to play the scheming “Crapgame” than Don Rickles? The list goes on. The acting seems effortless because they are basically playing themselves (or at least their screen personas).

Halftime score: MASH - 47 Kelly’s Heroes - 47


SECOND HALF: HUMOR


       MASH is ranked #7 on AFI’s 100 Greatest Comedies list. It was nominated for Best Picture and won for Best Adapted Screenplay. It won the Golden Globe for Best Comedy/Musical. It has a few laugh out loud moments like “Hot Lips” as a cheerleader, but most of the humor is in the dialogue. Hawkeye and Trapper John have sharp tongues. When Burns is provoked into attacking Hawkeye, Trapper warns “Watch out for your goodies, Hawkeye. The man’s a sex maniac. I don’t think Hot Lips satisfied him.” The humor is very anti-army and some of it is mean-spirited. Not surprising for a movie aimed at the Vietnam War.

       “Kelly’s Heroes” is more of a standard action movie set in war than a comedy. It has its humorous moments, but it has too much violence and death to leave you with a smile on your face. The humor is provided mainly by Oddball with his anachronistic hippie pronouncements. “Don’t hit me with those negative waves.” To give you an idea of the ratio of action to comedy just examine Rickles’ performance. He never breaks into a stand-up routine like Williams does in “Good Morning, Vietnam”. Not once does he call anyone a hockey puck.


Second half score: MASH – 42 KH – 30


ANALYSIS:


       I am a big fan of "Kelly’s Heroes" and certainly do not mind when a fictional war movie throws in humor (see “Inglorious Basterds”). But the fact is that the humor is secondary to the action. There are few laugh out loud moments and one minefield scene that is the opposite of humorous.  The body count is very high. The blend of humor and action is a good one and you could argue it is a better movie than MASH, but you can not argue it is a better comedy. MASH uses comedy to satirize the military and war. It is bitingly effective. Similar to KH, it has dark moments, but noone of consequence dies. It blends realistic surgery with humor effectively and would not exist without the humor, unlike KH.

FINAL SCORE:  MASH - 89   KH - 77