#4 Crimson Tide vs. #13 Torpedo Run

VS.

PLOT:  “Crimson Tide” is a post-Cold War submarine flick.  A rogue politician has gotten control of some nukes In Russia and is threatening to launch them.  The USS Alabama is a ballistic missile submarine that the movie makes a point of describing as one hell of a powerful instrument of international relations.   And this weapon is run by the old schooler Capt. Ramsey (Gene Hackman).  Ramsey is breaking in a new exec, Lt. Commander Hunter (Denzel Washington) and they don’t see eye to eye.  Ramsey is a Republican and Hunter is a Democrat, so to speak.  When the sub receives a launch order, it’s time to do what they exist for.  But wait, here comes an incomplete message that possibly rescinds the order to end the world as we know it.  And the clock is running.  Dial up the command dysfunction to ten.  The plot is thought-provoking and fairly balanced except that it’s obvious we are to root for the black guy.  It tends to be your basic action plot of dominoes dropping to build to the desired climax and is a bit redundant with two takeovers of the boat.  It is slickly done, if you like your entertainment that way.  GRADE  =  B

  “Torpedo Run” is a WWII submarine movie.  It also revolves around command dysfunction.   Commander Doyle (Glenn Ford) is best friends with his exec “Archie” Sloan (Ernest Borgnine), but they have a falling out when Doyle decides a Japanese carrier is more valuable than his own family’s life.  Don’t ask about the details, they are too unbelievable.  Even though Archie remains loyal to his mentally unstable skipper, Doyle feels Archie has stabbed him in the back with their superiors.  Incredibly, the two get a second shot at the aircraft carrier in a harbor.  The tension is high as you wonder if the plot can get any more ridiculous.    GRADE  =  F

FIRST QUARTER SCORE:  Crimson Tide  =  8

                                             Torpedo Run  =  4

ACTING:  “Crimson Tide” has Denzel Washington and Gene Hackman, ‘nuff said.  But there is also an outstanding supporting cast that includes Viggo Mortensen and James Gandolfini.  Everyone is fine, especially the two leads.  The situation lends itself to scene chewing, but the cast is mostly under control.  Washington and Hackman do not appear to be trying to top each other.  Unlike their characters.  GRADE  =  A

The strength of “Torpedo Run” should be its acting.  Ford and Borgnine are not Washington and Hackman, but they are a better duo than almost any other sub movie.  (Third behind Gable and Lancaster in “Run Silent”.)   Borgnine is good as the saintly Archie, but Ford is disappointing as he pouts or smirks his way through the role of the Ahab-like captain.  The supporting cast is low rent with Dean Jones and L.Q. Jones.  Unlike “Crimson Tide”, this movie has a female in Doyle’s doomed wife (Diane Brewster).  She makes little impression in a couple of home-life bliss flashbacks.  It’s a shame she was not allowed to emote through her husband sinking her ship.  As Archie assuages Doyle with “she would have wanted you to take the shot”, you wonder what the toddler-laden spouse really was thinking.  GRADE  =  C

HALFTIME SCORE:  Crimson Tide  = 17

                                   Torpedo Run  =  10

TACTICS:  You would think that considering the action movie plot of “Crimson Tide”, there would be no opportunity to display modern sub tactics.  If so, you underestimate Hollywood.  A submarine movie has to have torpedo firings so an enemy sub shows up to accommodate.  There sure are a lot of submerged sub duels in sub movies.  Don’t give too much thought to how a rogue politician got control of a sub or how it located the USS Alabama or why it opens fire.  Just enjoy.  The first torpedo attack is handled with countermeasures to assure potential recruits that American boomers are not easy to sink.  The Alabama survives another attack mainly through luck and suffers damage so we can have some clichés.  As far as the central conflict over the orders, the script incorrectly deems that the exec has to concur with the order to launch.  GRADE  =  C

“Torpedo Run” makes a mockery of submarine tactics.  The great white whale of an aircraft carrier is being screened by a transport carrying prisoners (including Doyle’s family, of course).  I know the Japanese were evil in WWII movies, but this movie was made in 1958.  Keep in mind that Doyle knows his family is on board and still takes the shot.  Later, the Grey Fish gets a shot at the sitting duck carrier, but Doyle does not wait for an enemy destroyer to pass by and instead the destroyer blocks all six torpedoes.  They fire torpedoes to break a hole in a submarine net!  Doyle travels on the surface even during daytime in dangerous waters.  It could be argued that he is insane.  GRADE  =  F

THIRD QUARTER SCORE:  Crimson Tide  =  23

                                               Torpedo Run  =  14

CLICHES:  “Crimson Tide” certainly has the command dysfunction cliché covered.  In fact, the crew picks sides.  The bout with the mystery sub allows them to flirt with hull crush depth and deal with leaks, although the movie avoids a depth charging.  Congratulations, blacks in sub movies, you’ve been promoted to Executive Officer.  There is a revolutionary scene where Hunter eats with the other officers instead of serving them!  There is no unexploded bomb, but they do have a fire in the galley that causes problems.  Nobody is left on deck, but some men are sealed in a flooded compartment.  So basically, some tweaking of the classic clichés and avoidance of most.  GRADE  =  B

Are you expecting a clean sheet for “Torpedo Run”?   The skipper and the exec have major conflicts.  The sub is sent on an emergency mission to get the carrier.  The boat passes through a sub net and a minefield.  One of the mine cables drags along the side.  They suffer two depth chargings.  The second one is so intense they are sent to the bottom.  In spite of this, the captain gets redemption through revenge.  There is a black mess mate.  GRADE  =  C

FINAL SCORE:  Crimson Tide  =  31

                           Torpedo Run  =  20

ANALYSIS:  This match was no contest.  “Crimson Tide” was a big budget action picture that was smart enough to place a classic action scenario into the claustrophobic confines of a modern sub.  (Although it is the least claustrophobic submarine movie in the tournament.  For example, Hunter jogs on board to stay in shape.)  While it is stocked with predictable action tropes, it avoids for the most part the temptation to make a WWII submarine movie using a nuclear sub.  “Torpedo Run”, on the other hand, is a half-ass dinosaur trying to get in bed with “Destination Tokyo”.  For a Glenn Ford fan, it’s embarrassing.  

SUB MOVIE: Torpedo Run (1958)

                “Torpedo Run” was directed by Joseph Pevney who had been in the Signal Corps in WWII.  His other war movie was “Away All Boats”.  The Navy cooperated with the movie and the technical adviser was Adm. Charles Lockwood (commander of Submarine Force Pacific).  He should have been ashamed of the product he advised on.  The movie was unbelievably nominated for an Oscar for Best Visual Effects.

                The movie opens in the South Pacific in 1942. Lt. Commander Doyle (Glenn Ford) of the Grayfish is morose over the fact that his family was in the Philippines when it fell.  He later finds out they are alive.  That’s the good news.  The bad news is they are on a transport that is screening an aircraft carrier named the Shinaru.  The Shinaru led the attack on Pearl Harbor and is the number one target for any submarine.  Even though he knows his family is on the transport (don’t ask), Doyle decides to take the shot despite the reasonable admonitions of his exec and best friend Sloan (Ernest Borgnine).  It will take an amazing shot to hit the aircraft carrier instead of the innocent civilian-laden transport.  He does not pull it off.  Sloan consoles Doyle by telling him “Jane would have wanted you to try”.  Yeah, right.  Of course, this fits the cinematic Navy where skippers always put their job ahead of family.  He can’t bring his family back, but Doyle can get revenge against the carrier.  The rest of the movie covers his quest against his great white whale.  Sloan is along for the ride even though he questions Doyle’s obsession.  In fact, he turns down his own boat to stay with Doyle.  This is the same Doyle who considers him to be a back-stabber.  Awkward!

                 Dear Admiral Lockwood, what the hell were you doing during the production of this movie?  Did you feel it was a good idea to approve a script where an obviously mentally unstable skipper is allowed to take a sub out again?  Hey Admiral, would a captain risk killing a transport full of civilians?  Sure.  Would a sub sink a net tender, thus alerting every destroyer in a harbor?  Sure.  Could a sub fire a torpedo into an anti-sub net and then negotiate the hole?  Sure.  Would a sub negotiate a mine field by sheer luck?  Sure.  Could a Japanese destroyer block all six torpedoes heading for a carrier?  Sure.

                “Torpedo Run’ is a two man show.  Glenn Ford plays an a**hole.  I’m not sure if that was the intention, but let’s face it.  And this guy has a loyal best friend, an unquestioning crew, clueless superiors, and a dead family.  I’m a big Ford fan, but he is terrible in this film.  He pouts and smirks his way through the film.  Ernest Borgnine is better, but he has to play the saintly Sloan.  No one else in the cast makes an impression.  Nor do they get a chance.  The movie could not care less about the crew.  It could also not care less about reality.  This is one aggravating and anti-intellectual war movie.  The plot is chock full of implausibilities.  The tactics are laughable, as I tried to point out to Adm. Lockwood.  As far as the special effects, it must have been a pretty uncompetitive year at the Academy Awards.  Fake miniatures in a swimming pool are not very impressive.  Even in glorious technicolor.

                How does this movie get made in 1958?  In my recent Submarine Movies Tournament, it was the ninth sub movie to be released.  Not only does it not improve on the previous movies, it is possibly the worst.  It does manage to avoid most of the established clichés, but it substitutes incidents that are inane and poorly executed. 

GRADE  =  D       

YOU WANT SUBMARINE CLICHES? U-571 (2000)

                If you want to see every WWII submarine movie wrapped into one, you should watch “U-571” and you will be an expert on the subgenre.  Released in 2000, the screenwriters must have thought the time was right for a summary of all the clichés that had accumulated in this type of war film since the first WWII sub movie came out during the war.  It was directed by Jonathan Mostow who wrote the story and was one of the screenwriters.  The film was shot in the Mediterranean near Malta and Rome.  It did pretty well at the box office and with the American critics (we’ll talk about the British critics later).  It won the Academy Award for Sound Editing.

Cliché ahead!

                The movie begins with a crawl informing us that it is 1942 and u-boats are threatening to cut the Atlantic supply lines.  It essential that the German naval code be broken and that means stealing an Enigma machine.  One becomes available when U-571 sinks a cargo ship, but gets damaged by the subsequent depth charging and signals for a supply/repair sub.  The SOS is intercepted and a special mission is planned to take the u-boat and thus acquire an Enigma machine.  Meanwhile the sub resurfaces and the captain orders the machine-gunning of survivors from the cargo ship.  He is an evil Nazi.

                The obsolescent S-33 is given the task.  4  It is disguised to pass for the supply u-boat and a special operative named Maj. Coonan (David Keith) is added to lead the boarding party.  The captain of the sub is Lt. Commander Dahlgren (Bill Paxton).  There is a command conflict because he squelched his exec Lt. Tyler’s (Matthew McConaughey) promotion because he believes Tyler cares too much about the crew and would not be willing to sacrifice lives.  1

                The S-33 arrives at the site of U-571 on a dark, rainy night.  Coonan and his boarders are disguised as German sailors.  He takes the sonar man, the executive officer, the chief of the boat, and the radio man with him.  (You know, all the essential personnel that Dahlgren can’t afford to lose.)  The capture of the u-boat goes smoothly.  Just kidding.  The taking of the u-boat is action-packed and well-staged.  The Enigma machine (an actual one) is acquired.  Ensign Larson is killed because he wrote a letter to his new wife and had a portrait of her.  (Not just a sub cliché.)  The boarding team is headed back to the S-33 when the real supply u-boat arrives and without bothering to identify either sub, puts a torpedo into the S-33.  It blows up real good.  Tyler and the surviving boarders return to U-571 and he dives the boat as Dahlgren urges him to be a man and sacrifice his floating comrades.  3 Tough way to gain a job referral.

                Tyler and his intrepid band are able to operate the u-boat and win an underwater duel with the German boat that includes a torpedo that scrapes the side of U-571.  You don’t get any closer than that.  Tyler resurfaces to look for survivors and they pick up two – the black mess mate  7  and the German captain masquerading as an ordinary seaman.  Tyler has a little trouble adjusting to Dahlgren’s admonition that a good captain has to be a horse’s ass.  Seaman Mazzola (Erik Palladino) questions Tyler’s authority and encourages firing on an ME-109 that is scoping them out.  Don’t ask what a short range fighter is doing in the middle of the Atlantic because then you will have to ask what that German destroyer is doing out there.

                They take out the German destroyers radio antenna with an incredibly accurate deck gun shot and then dive under the ship missing the keel by inches (at least they didn’t scrape by).  Here comes the depth charging.  This is one of the best of this trope.  Intense with good effects.  We get to know all their facial features.  It’s quality plus quantity as the Germans drop about eighty explosives and at one point about twenty explode in a ten second span.  Many of them right alongside the hull.  They are forced down below “hull crush depth”, but that German engineering belies that depth gauge.  2  That doesn’t mean we don’t get leaks and rivets popping to make us wonder.  To throw off the Germans, Tyler has the corpse of Mazzola (conveniently killed by the German captain) and debris fired out of a torpedo tube.  5

                Tyler orders “Trigger” (Tom Guiry) to sacrifice himself for the good of the boat.  Now he really is a skipper and a damned good one.  When the sub resurfaces, the destroyer is chasing and straddling the sub with each salvo.  Apparently trying to sink the sub by swamping it.  There’s only one chance and it’s a one in a million bow shot with their last torpedo.  If they don’t hit their target, the Enigma machine will be lost and so will the war.  We’re here today so guess what happens.

                “U-571” is historically inaccurate in an offensive way.  The movie assigns credit for getting the Enigma machine to the U.S. Navy because an American audience would never see a movie where the heroes are not American, right?  Like “Braveheart”, “Breaker Morant”, “Cross of Iron”, “The Train”, “Schindler’s List”, etc.  At least William Wallace was Scottish.  Here are the facts.  The first naval Enigma machine was captured by the HMS Bulldog from U-110 in May, 1941.  In 1942, additional Enigma code books were taken from U-559 by HMS Petard.  Neither incident involved Americans.  If the producers thought noone would notice, they did not take into account people like me and the entire Royal Navy.  Even Prime Minister Tony Blair called it an affront to British sailors, which was an accurate statement.  The outcry caused the studio to add a postscript crediting the Bulldog and the Petard.  U-571 did exist and was sunk by a depth charge dropped by a plane.  S-33 was stationed in the Pacific.

                There are a few “based on an actual incident” fudges in the film.  There was one example of a sub torpedoing another submerged sub, but that was one incident in the entire war.  There was also one incident where a German u-boat attacked survivors from a Greek ship, but that sort of atrocity was extremely rare.

                The movie assumes the viewers do not care about historical accuracy and that they have not seen very many submarine movies.  The ridiculous pile of clichés might seem fresh to non-war movie buffs, but if you’ve seen more than a few WWII submarine movies, you’ve seen this movie.  There are also a lot of implausibilities that are grating, starting with that supply u-boat arriving in the middle of the Atlantic at just the right moment and then firing a torpedo (that it did not have because those type of subs were not armed with them) under one sub to sink another.  However, if you are of a generation that did not grow up with the Old School WWII movies, “U-571” is a nice throwback.  The acting is good.  McConaughey is solid and the supporting cast led by Harvey Keitel as the chief is fine.  Not counting Jon Bon Jovi.  The action is consistent and suspenseful.  It has a kitchen sink aspect to it.  It is technically proficient with great sound and good special effects.  The interiors are authentic looking.  The plot tries to class up the action with the theme of Tyler growing into command and the sacrifices a commander must make.

Band of Brothers - they ain't

                “U-571” is the “Memphis Belle” of submarine movies.  In both cases, you can see an entire subgenre of clichés in one viewing.  It has a record 7 out of my nine (see below).  This is okay if you don’t watch many war movies and you like your entertainment brainless with hunks (Jon Bon Jovi / Harry Connick, Jr.)  Here’s another movie of that ilk – “Fly Boys”.  If you liked two out of those three – see the other one!

grade =  C+

WWII SUBMARINE MOVIE CLICHES

1.  There are two strong personalities on board that butt heads.  Usually it’s the captain and his exec.

2.  The sub has to go below the “hull crush depth” causing leaks and rivets to pop.

3.  Someone gets left on deck when the sub has to make an emergency dive.  Usually it’s the captain who is wounded and. orders the boat to dive.

4.  The sub is sent on an emergency operation.

5.  The boat releases oil, debris, and/or a corpse to make the enemy think it has been sunk.

6.  The captain is an Ahab who is obsessed with a certain target.

7.  There is one black on board – he is a mess mate.

8.  The sub undergoes a depth charging.  Often the depth charges explode right alongside the sub, but never crush the walls of the sub.

9.  The sub lands commandoes.   Usually this results in things being blown up.

10.  The sub captain attains redemption for a previous action that haunts him.

OTHER WWII SUB MOVIES

UP PERISCOPE  (1959)   The mission is to land a frogman on a Japanese island to steal a code book.  4  The captain is not thrilled to have the commando on board  and is a by the book type.  He does not want to risk the boat by taking dangerous risks.  1  On the way there, the sub is strafed and the exec is caught on deck, wounded, and orders the boat to dive.  3  When a destroyer chases them, the captain releases diesel oil and bubbles to fool their sonar.  5  The frogman swims ashore and steals the codes.  9  There  is a black mess mate on                                    board.  7   # of clichés =  6   grade =  C

TORPEDO RUN  (1958)  A captain whose family was left in the Philippines is sent to sink a Japanese aircraft carrier.  When the carrier is spotted, a ship carrying his family is screening it.  He takes the shot anyway.  6  He and his exec disagree about how far he should go to carry out a mission.  1  The captain gets a second crack at the carrier in Tokyo Bay, but fails again.  There is a black mess mate.  7  When the carrier is spotted in the Aleutians, the sub is sent on an emergency mission to get it.  4  Number of depth chargings = 3.  # of clichés = 5  grade =  C-

WE DIVE AT DAWN  (1958)  A British sub crew is recalled early to track down a German battleship.  4  During a depth charging, they release a dead German corpse, oil, and debris.  3  They sink the battleship, but have to go ashore to get fuel and food and to blow things up.  9   One depth charging.  # of clichés =  4  grade =  B-

CRASH DIVE  (1943)   The mission is to land a commando team to destroy a Japanese Q-Ship base.  9  The confict between the captain and the exec is due to the exec putting the moves on the captain’s fiancé.  1  There is a black mess mate on board.  7  During a depth charging, the captain releases debris.  5  When the periscope gets hit, the captain stays on deck to act as the eyes of the sub.  3  Number of depth chargings = 1   # of clichés =  6    grade =  D+

HELLCATS OF THE NAVY  (1959)  The captain has to dive while a frogman is still missing.  The frogman was dating the captain’s girl, so the exec and the crew suspect ulterior motives.  The mission is to launch a commando raid on a Japanese island.  9  When they return to base, the captain gives his exec a bad evaluation because he feels he is not willing to make tough decisions.  1  The next mission is to join a wolf pack going into the Sea of Japan.  When the sub’s propellers get caught in a net, the captain goes to release them and orders the sub to dive when it is threatened.  3  Number of depth chargings = 2.  # of clichés =  4   grade =  F

RUN SILENT, RUN DEEP  (1955)  A desk captain is placed over an exec who was expecting to be promoted to command of the sub.  1  The captain is obsessed with getting a Japanese destroyer called Bungo Pete which had earlier sunk his sub.  6  A crew member is left on deck during an emergency dive.  3  There is a black mess mate.  7  During a depth charging, they release debris and bodies.  5  They sink Bungo Pete and then duel a Japanese sub.  Number of depth chargings =  2  # of clichés =  6   grade =  C

OPERATION PACIFIC  (1951)  The captain is wounded by a Q-Ship and orders a dive while sacrificing his life so John Wayne (his exec) can take command of the sub and the movie.  3  The sub has to deal with the problem of faulty torpedoes.  They work to fix this problem.  They participate in the Battle of Leyte Gulf where they are tasked to rescue downed pilots, but also get to sing some ships.  Number of depth chargings =  2.  # of clichés =  2  grade =  C

DESTINATION TOKYO  (1943)  The emergency mission is to drop off a commando team to report on weather conditions for the Doolittle Raid.  4 / 9  They sink an aircraft carrier that is launching planes to attack the Raiders.  They survive a depth charging.  8  A bow shot sinks a chasing destroyer.  # of clichés =  3  grade =  C 

SUBMARINE COMMAND (1951)  A sub skipper is torn by the loss of his previous commander at teh end of WWII in the Pacific, but gets a chance for redemption on a commando raid in the Korean War.   3  The captain is left on deck by the exec in an emergency dive.  4  The sub is part of an operation to liberate a POW camp.  7  There is a black messmate, but he has a small role.  9  The sub lands two commando teams to take out phone and radar stations.  10  The commander gets a chance to sacrifice his sub instead of a crew member.  Number of depth chargings = 1  # of cliches =  5 
grade =  C     

I know I have not included "Das Boot".  It's upcoming as one of the top ten.